I want her at the wedding but do I have to pay for four nights?
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DEAR ABBY: My daughter is getting married in a month. Her fiancé is Canadian. We have reserved a block of rooms for guests who come from afar.
I understand the importance of the groom’s mother being there for the ceremony, so when I was told she couldn’t afford the hotel, I offered to pay for her room for Thursday, Friday and Saturday so so she can be here.
My daughter now says her mother is also asking for Sunday night. I replied that she could book it and pay for it herself or request a late Sunday check out. I don’t have room for her to stay at my house, and I think I’m being generous to pay for her hotel stay in the first place, let alone three nights.
Does the bride’s family have to pay for this?
OVER DEMAND
DEAR APPLICANT: Do you have to? Certainly not. It’s presumptuous of the mother of the groom to expect you to do this. If she is unable to afford the extended accommodation, her son would have to step in.
DEAR ABBY: I am a high school student in a difficult situation. At the beginning of my second year, during a school trip, I developed strong feelings for a girl named “Joelle”. She’s a class ahead of me, which means I don’t see her often or have many opportunities to talk to her during school, other than casual encounters.
Because of our lack of contact, I thought my feelings were waning, so I started a relationship with another girl, “Amber.” However, shortly after starting this new relationship, I had a long conversation with Joelle and quickly realized that I was in love with her. Even though I still have feelings for Amber, it crushes me not to be with Joelle.
To make matters worse, if I end things with Amber, there’s no guarantee that Joelle would give me a chance — she’s bisexual (but mostly lesbian) and she’s close friends with Amber.
I don’t want to ruin my relationship with Amber for what might be a pipe dream, but I’m definitely in love with Joelle. Please help.
BURNING HEART IN SAN FRANCISCO
DEAR JUMBLE: Amber deserves better than to be involved with someone who is in love with someone else.
Place your hopes only on friendship with Joëlle. Already.
You still have two years of high school ahead of you. During this time, you will meet other attractive young women who will reciprocate your feelings. These two are not that.
DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 25 years. My husband has just taken up golf and practiced at the club. He takes off his wedding ring for both activities, then sometimes forgets to put it back on.
When we leave for a dinner or an event, I ask, “Where is your ring? He then returns to the house to put it on. What do you think ?
Puzzled in Illinois
Dear puzzled: Depending on your husband’s training, the wedding band may get in the way or be scratched. It can also interfere with his swing while playing golf. It’s also possible that he doesn’t like wearing a wedding ring.
What I do with it is less important than what you two do with it. It’s time to have a calm and honest discussion.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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