- It was really difficult to teach my grandchildren to make chores such as cooking or cleaning.
- But I’m glad they learned young because now they are teenagers, they can take care of themselves.
- Now, I also have more freedom, and they too.
My husband and I went to dinner last weekend, and when I was preparing, I realized that I did not plan that my teenagers eat. While we head to the door, I shouted: “We leave! Find something in the refrigerator to prepare dinner!”
And they did it.
It is a huge jump compared to the moment when I had four small children in the house, and I felt like I would not sit once during the day. There was a constant laundry to be washed and folded, meals to be prepared, and the damage to be cleaned. My husband and I were those who did all these things all the time for six people.
Likewise, last month, the family made a ski trip together here in Colorado. Everyone is tired of hearing me say: “It’s so easy now!” But it was. In recent years, my husband and I have had to pack food, normal clothes, winter clothes and other equipment so that we all go to the mountains. We were tired before we even hit the road.
This year, I told the family that we left at 2 p.m., and everyone was right … ready, wrapped and in the car. No one has even forgotten a jacket.
It took years to teach them everything, but now my teenagers can take care of themselves.
It can be difficult to teach small children to cook and clean
Of course, we did not wake up one day with children knowing how to do all these things. It has been years to practice, starting with small tasks and expecting that they do more over time.
This teaching does not always come easily or naturally either. It is difficult to take the time to teach children to do things. Cooking takes more time. The bathroom does not also become clean at first. The clothes are not very carefully folded.
I think that many children grow without knowing how to cook or doing laundry are not anchored by parents who insist to do everything for their precious babies. We are all so busy. When you come back from work and sport and care after school at 6 p.m., everyone wants to dine. You cannot spend an additional half hour to teach forced children how to chop a cucumber. If the bathroom has reached toxic levels, it is faster to clean it myself, and I know it will be done as I want.
I did not like to have to show younger children how to do everything, especially when I knew that I would be faster. And, of course, sometimes children just didn’t want to do these things.
But learning these skills has given confidence to my children – and gave me the confidence they could take care of themselves in the future.
All the tasks I taught them were something that children had to practice and improve. Whenever they packed their bags for a trip, they improved.
All these efforts have paid, and I now have less to do
During the winter holidays a few years ago, I told my college student that he had to prepare for dinner. I took him to the grocery store and let him come off to get his ingredients while I sat down at the coffee and read a book. When we got home, he made a delicious dinner. I think I cried.
My other son had great breakfasts for us while we camp – much more elaborate than I cooked. I no longer check that anyone for travel. In the action of graces, each person in the family makes a dish, so no one has to make the whole kitchen. When my elder went to university, he taught a few friends how to do their laundry at the start of the school year.
Teaching children to do things for themselves not only gave my husband and me more freedom, but it also gave children’s freedom.
If they want a certain clean shirt, they don’t have to expect me. If they don’t like what’s for dinner, they can do theirs.
I will not pretend that we do not dispute all the tasks. It is not because my family can do these tasks that everyone in this house does them when I want. But I am quite confident that when they venture into the world in the coming years, they will be able to fend for themselves.
I just hope that they will come back to visit and cook for me sometimes.
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