I never wanted to be a household mother; I was surprised that I love him

It was not intentional, but it’s been two years since I worked full time.

When I was asked what I do, I come across my words. I write articles occasionally as an independent journalist, but I cannot do it sugar: I am a household mother. Even tapping it, I creak a little.

Before becoming a stay at home, I saw my friends who were wealthy and home mothers. Their days seemed to be lunches and play tennis.

I was wise, that’s for sure. I used to think: “It had to be nice.”

Now, I know – yes, it’s good, but it’s also a very difficult job.

My life took an unexpected turn after having become pregnant

When I was 25, I moved to Los Angeles with great dreams of working in Hollywood as a writer of Sitcom. It did not go, but I met my husband.

When Covid-19 struck, it was even more difficult to find a stable job on television, so I took a stand in podcasting. I was there a little over a year, but I left when things went south – the company declared bankruptcy a few months later. I was also newly pregnant.

I did not look for a new full -time job during pregnancy. Becoming a writer Sitcom had been a difficult battle and I was ready to abandon. I took some short -term contract posts, and after giving birth to my son, I did not work at all.

When I finally started to consider working again, there had been a change in the podcasting openings that I found – many producer roles also required a publishing experience, which was not a skill that interested me or that interested me.

Since he became a mother, I have not been able to find a career path that excites me

I am a lost self-admitted soul regarding a career. I am always looking for jobs and I often apply.

However, when I really think of what it would mean taking one of the jobs I apply, sadness washes me at the idea of ​​being far from my son.

It may be time to accept what I feel passionate: my son.

In addition, if I returned to work, I should find childcare services, because day work would probably go at 5 p.m. and my son is out of preschool before 3 p.m. and more, my son is only going to nursery school three days a week.

Whether it is a daycare or a nanny, the amount of money that it would cost makes the workplace less attractive. It’s not worth it.

If I had a clear career trajectory, it could be another story.

I was surprised that I like to be a housewife

I was with my son every day until he started to preschool at 1 and a half. I was there for all stages: first word, steps, laughs.

I was surprised to see how this helplessness turned into a toddler talkative, full of personality, just before my eyes. Although cliché, it was true: the days are long but the years are short.

Of course, some days are simply difficult. His naps give me a very necessary break, but sometimes they do not occur. Food is launched on the ground that has just washed. If he has no colds, he has a stomach bug. It looks like a week without illness is a rarity.

Even now, it is at part -time school, my hours alone pass, and I never accomplish all the tasks that I hope. At 3 p.m., I come back to the service of mom and I have to entertain him, keep him away from the remote control (although sometimes you just have to put on television) and manage his routine at bedtime.

Even with all the trying moments, I realized that I am the happiest I have ever been. My son makes me laugh constantly, and I can’t tell him enough how much I love him.

I have the privilege that my family can afford to live my husband’s salary alone. An additional salary would certainly be useful, but the cost of me to find work – and not spend my days with my son – is too high.

My name may not be in the credits of your favorite comedy program, but I know people whose names are and I would not exchange places with any of them.

Although my days are not glamorous and are often monotonous, I like my life as a mother at home.