At 25, I had a large group of friends. We would have our religious brunches on Sunday once a month, and our cable cars not so religious once a week. It was perfect.
But then, I obtained a new job and I was forced to move to a new city in India where I did not know anyone, tearing myself away from the social life I loved.
Fortunately, my new job took me to a beautiful slow city and I loved sailing in my new life there. After this honeymoon phase, I needed something more – something that broke the monotony at home and at work at home. I needed friends, or at least connections.
It was then that I found a charming coffee worthy of Instagram to visit in the evening. Most of the nights, I would head there, I took tea and people watch. It was until I tied the connections that I desperately needed.
I felt the need for connection
I would watch people enter the coffee, locate someone they know, make a big smile, a frantic wave, walk towards them and jump into a hug.
I wanted to be part of it, so I tried to impress people with my poor conversational skills. I would establish visual contact with all other customers, hoping that they come to talk to me. But they were just a sign from afar and would continue their thing.
Then came a rainy day. While I was waiting for the rain to simmer, I spotted a guy through the coffee while playing in Carrom, a traditional Indian wooden board game, alone. I knew how to play and I thought it was the ideal way in a conversation.
I went and asked if I was ready for a match. We were just as bad. Two months later, we improved and two other players joined our Carrom ritual.
I spent the coming months to improve at Carrom and I found three others who loved the game too. Several times a week after work, I was heading for tea coffee and a few games. Above all, I lost, but I got friends with the coffee manager, a business owner and a software developer.
When my roommate was absent for a month, the coffee kept me a healthy mind. A particularly lonely day, I ended up having a one hour conversation with one of the managers. Until then, the longest conversation I had had with her was: “Hi”. I did not expect to connect so easily with her, but I was grateful that it happened when I needed it most.
CMounted on the plan helped me establish links
Coherence has changed the game to meet new people in my new city. Everything was consistent: coffee, my order of drinks (which led to many conversations linked to tea between the chef and me) and Carrom.
When I walked away from this city two years later, I was proud of the community that I built. All the connections were not a deep friendship, but I met people who kept my fun and interesting life. They were the only constant in my life at that time.
When I went to the coffee one last time, I sat alone during rush hour, nodding and smiling at everyone I knew. Carrom’s board of directors was occupied and no one had time to converse. It didn’t bother me because I knew that when I then visited, my friends would be there, smiling, waved and asked me if I was ready for a match.
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