I smoothed the pink fabric of my blazer as I slid into the office chair for my job interview. On the other side of the rectangular meeting table, three young men dressed in polo shirts and khakis sat down with yellow notepads.
I started talking about my upbringing. As a recent graduate, there didn’t seem to be anything else I could talk about.
I felt less nervous a few questions later and my interlocutors also seemed to relax. The serious-looking man with slicked-back black hair led the interrogation while the blond made witty remarks. But the last guy on the panel with a deep, rich laugh caught my attention.
The blue polo shirt he wore brought out the sapphire in his eyes, and when he laughed, his whole body shook with amusement. His voice was deep and washed over me with a slow southern drawl. I found myself hoping to get the job just so I could spend more time with him.
I got hired and learned more about the guy from the panel
Luckily, I got the job. The position was entry-level and the pay was peanuts, but at least I had my foot in the door. The blond joker was my supervisor.
At the end of the first week, I went on an official tour of the department, where I met the man again, laughing deeply. His name was Jason and he was a team leader and trained his own new recruits. I found myself sad that I wasn’t assigned to him.
The tour included meeting the other new recruits, all three women. We quickly became friends. We all ate lunch together and chatted about our bosses and complex work tasks. Shared frustration helped us bond.
Three weeks later, one of the girls commented that Jason seemed interested in me. “You need to tell us if he asks you out,” one of the others commented. “That would be hilarious,” said another. They thought I would reject it, so I kept silent.
One Friday evening, it happened. Jason walked me to my car and asked if I wanted a drink. I said yes. We spent hours talking on that first unofficial date, and I knew then that the attraction was more than superficial.
We started dating
We kept our budding romance a secret for the first few weeks, but it was outed at the company Christmas party. Some of the looks I received were friendly; others were downright hostile. The president of the company, however, was almost encouraging.
Once our relationship became public, the dynamics at work changed. The friendly lunches stopped, because I was now going out with the enemy. I felt a growing sense of isolation as many in the department seemed to go out of their way to avoid me – while others actively began to tease me.
As an added insult, several co-workers bluntly asked me why I was dating Jason. I didn’t know how to answer. I had the impression that they thought I was trying to sleep my way to the top.
The author, left, met her husband, right, at work. Courtesy of Amanda Garland
Fortunately, things went well with management – at least at first. I even got a little promotion. Then the head of the department resigned, leaving my boss and Jason in charge. News came from above that I couldn’t report to my boyfriend, so the teams were divided accordingly.
It basically halted both of our careers. Jason would never be promoted further for fear of becoming my boss; it also stunted my upward mobility.
I transferred departments
An opportunity presented itself in the IT department that I was particularly suited for, and I jumped at it. This decision has definitely relieved some daily tensions – both at work and in my relationship with my now fiancé.
This change, however, opened a new can of worms. My old boss and my new boss didn’t get along, which meant Jason was worried when he was caught at my office. My co-workers started timing the time I spent in Jason’s office. Any in-person communication between us was considered a waste of company time. We started emailing each other to avoid confrontation.
Our careers were back on track, but our every move was being watched like a hawk.
We left the company
Two years after we were married, my husband received an outside offer he couldn’t refuse.
When we announced our departure, we were greeted with surprise. “I thought you were sentenced to life,” one woman said. Every other married couple at our workplace stayed long term; we were breaking the trend.
Leaving the company was bittersweet, but it brought a sense of relief. We no longer had arguments about work and there was no more procrastination around our managers.
My husband and I are much happier not to work together anymore, but we still laugh when someone asks, “So how did you meet?”
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