I make an effort to have a good relationship with my teenager

• I did not have the best relationship with my parents as a teenager, but now I have an excellent.
• I wanted to do things differently with my teenager and I give him the relationship I would have liked.
• I listen to what she has to say and I try to say yes as much as possible.

I have a great Relationship with my parents Now that I am an adult. But in adolescence, I sucked in on a Lorilei and Rory type link, Gilmore Girls – in particular with my mother.

When I had my first daughterI knew I wanted things different when she became a teenager. I was useful on how I present myself in our relationship to create the type of connection that I had always hoped for when I was a teenager.

My approach is to say yes as much as possible and always listen to what she has to say.

I always listen to what she has to say

I strive to actively listen to everything she wants to speak, especially in the car. Recently, she was devastated that her boyfriend Cut her hair in a mule Just before a school dance. Although I know that it is a short -lived problem that would not matter in the days, it was ridiculously upset. Even if its mule has 0% for me, listening to it – whatever the subject – strengthens our confidence.

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In the evening, I sit at the end of his bed, speaking for hours. Conversations that start with a funny coil on Instagram inevitably led to more serious subjects. We laugh and cry, speaking of everything under the sun. I learned that if I listen to her conversations where she talks about which of her friends crushes who during the week, she trusts me when she has more Sex questionsRelationships and consumption of substances – which really matters.

I say yes as much as I can

My daughter and her friends are just StartBut until recently, they needed a driver to go anywhere. I work at home and I have a more flexible schedule than most parents. I got a goal to say: “Yes!” Whenever I can. Everything, from the need for a journey to the cinema to the organization of a Halloween party, I say yes if it is possible. This often means that my car and my house are full of several noisy teenagers.

Many parents fear the idea that their teenager drinks and led or was in a dangerous situation. I worked hard to build a relationship where my daughter and her friends know that I am someone who will present themselves for them – whatever happens.

This exact situation occurred in the fall of 2024. My daughter and some friends were in a football match and did not feel safe at home with their planned journey. I was already in bed with pajamas and a toothpick when she called me to ask me if I would bring them back. I was relieved that she called me instead of going home with someone who made dangerous choices. I want to be someone my daughter can count on, even when it is not practical.

I am honest when she asks difficult questions

As a parent, I desperately want to protect my daughter from evil or pain. I would like to pretend I never make bad or dangerous choices. When my daughter asks me questions, I tell her the cold and hard truth, even when she is embarrassed. This understands him about a time when I was a first -year student at university and used my credit card to secretly go to California to visit a guy I had met once during a wedding.

Admit a behavior that I am not proud to help me tell my daughter to make better choices than me and why I would choose differently if I could go back. This led to interesting conversations in the Drive-Thru in In-N-out, on our way to Disneyland and during dinner at our kitchen table. My daughter knows that no subject is outside the table.

I surprise her with acts of random kindness

Being a teenager is difficult. It is easy to forget that as an adult because being an adult is also very difficult. I like to surprise my teenager with acts of random kindness to show her that I care about her. Sometimes I clean her bathroom or fold her laundry – the chores that she is normally supposed to make herself to remove something from her plate. I also occasionally introduce myself to school during lunch with chic-fil-a or home with a drink at the CAB CAFE of $ 7. Sometimes I will even provide arrangements for her friends too.

Which costs me $ 20 in coffee was tenfold to me because now she does the same thing to me. I come home regularly to find the overwhelmed dishes or a little love note on my desk that says: “I love you, mom.” This back and forth exchange of kindness allows us to get up with each other, especially when things are struggling.

People are often afraid of having teenagers. Hormones, mood swings and social drama can be intimidating. However, I found that a teenager was one of my favorite parental steps. My goal is not to have the perfect adolescent but simply to be the kind of parent I would have liked to have had during one of the most difficult stages of life.