DEAR ABBY: Four years ago, “Karla” gave me one of her lovely oak side chairs. She said she had no use for it and assured me she wouldn’t want it back.
I accepted the chair and have been using it ever since. When it was given to me, the back cushion was missing and the seat cushion was hard. After a few years I bought some nice fabric and had the chair repaired and reupholstered. It cost me $175. If I had thought the chair was being loaned to me, I wouldn’t have done it.
I sent Karla a photo of the completed improvements and she said it looked nice.
A year later, she abruptly ended our friendship. She was angry with me because I mixed up her arrival time at the airport and she had to wait an hour. Twice I apologized profusely, but Karla didn’t respond. (That was 14 months ago.)
Ten days ago, I received a text from one of her friends saying that Karla wanted me to return the chair she “let me borrow.” The friend wanted to know when I could deliver it.
I am completely taken aback. Karla gave that for me!
What do you think of this pickle?
— Baffled in Texas
DEAR CUT OUT: Ignore the text. If Karla wants the chair returned to her, she should ask you herself.
If she does, and you accept it, make sure she pays it back in liquid the money you spent to have the chair refurbished.
DEAR ABBY: My brother (eight years younger) is addicted to drugs and has been in and out of prison for decades.
Our father died five years ago. Until then, my brother lived with him in a different state. Before that, he had stolen from our mother and me several times.
He is a criminal and he is currently in prison. When he’s not in prison, he’s homeless. Of course, we only hear about him when he needs money.
To top it all off, my special needs son recently passed away. Of course, my wife and I are devastated, even though we have accepted the fact that he is in a better place.
With my brother’s return to prison, the focus shifted back to him. I’ve always tried to be a good brother, but I’ve completely washed my hands of it now. At this point, I need peace in my life, and as long as it’s in mine, I’ll never have it.
It crushes my mother, but that’s how I feel. Right or wrong, I don’t think just because someone is family gives them the right to make others unhappy.
I would like to know your opinion on this subject.
— BEST BROTHER IN FLORIDA
DEAR BROTHER: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your beloved son. That you feel like you can’t handle the added stress of interacting with or supporting your drug addict brother (who stole from you) is understandable.
Don’t allow your mother to make you feel guilty and do something that makes you uncomfortable. If your mother decides to take him in after his release, advise her to first remove all valuables from her house.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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