Over the past month, I’ve had to move to New York City, which is a chaotic undertaking to say the least. I knew that even changing my Wi-Fi address would require multiple calls. But I was shocked to find myself being judged for still being on my dad’s phone plan.
Every time I spoke with a salesperson, they offered to add their mobile services to my plan, which I repeatedly declined. Each salesperson jokingly asked if I was on my family’s phone plan, and I sheepishly admitted that I was. I thought we were going to continue the conversation about my internet plan, but I was met with a chuckle and a comment about how much money I would save by switching to their plan.
On the one hand, I didn’t care how they felt; they just wanted to sell me an extra service. But on the other hand, I wondered why receiving a little financial help from my family should be seen as a bad thing.
I graduated from Columbia Journalism School with a master’s degree a little over a year ago and since then I’ve worked five different freelance jobs in writing, editing, and publishing while trying to find full-time employment. I feel like it’s an uphill battle to break into the journalism industry, and even with a busy schedule and balancing multiple jobs, I’m still not meeting my current or long-term financial goals.
My parents understand how difficult it is for me to pursue my career while living in one of the most expensive cities in the United States, not to mention carrying student loan debt. So they are happy to help by letting me keep my family’s phone plan and sharing their streaming services with me.
In a time when life is so expensive, I compromise on what is financially realistic.
In today’s economic climate, it’s no surprise that less than half of young adults ages 18 to 24 are fully financially independent from their parents, according to a report from the Pew Research Center.
Many of my friends moved back in with their parents after college to save money, and I was hesitant to do the same. Currently, I can afford my general lifestyle (rent, gym membership, and other basic needs to live my life), but my parents help cover some of my expenses. It’s not ideal, but it’s where I am right now, and my family knows that I’m working hard to become financially independent.
As with anything, finances are a matter of balance and compromise. My boyfriend and I save money to go out to dinner every now and then or do activities that can be expensive. We try to enjoy nice nights out with our friends and take full advantage of the many outdoor spaces in the city. We both have side hustles and work to make ends meet.
But our future remains uncertain
I constantly think about our future and financial goals when it comes to buying a home, getting married or having a child. For my parents, all of these goals were easily attainable. But buying a family home or financing my dream wedding seems so far away.
I’ve had many discussions with my boyfriend about giving up some of these conventional aspirations, but it seems very sad to me. I want them and I don’t want to give up on these dreams just yet.
Still, the idea of buying a home seems unrealistic. We had to jump through a lot of hoops to rent an apartment in Manhattan. There are crazy income requirements, like making 40 times the monthly rent—and we didn’t meet that requirement. To apply for an apartment here, we had to rely on family members to act as guarantors (and they have to make 80 times the rent).
I’m afraid we can never live alone.
I am grateful that my family supports me and my goals.
I remind myself that everyone has their own pace of life and that there is no “right” way to live. I am lucky to live in this city and I do not take it for granted. I am determined to find my luck here.
I am grateful to my family for their support and just knowing that pushes me to work harder to achieve my goals. I know that one day I will be financially independent and I will be able to repay them.
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