- Some people led judgments when I had my second child at the age of 44.
- I love being an older mother. My husband and I had children at the right time for us.
- Although there are challenges, joy prevails from afar on the negatives.
People were extremely nice when I had My first son at 42Partly because I had three previous false layers and maternity was like a miracle. But when I was my second at 44 – two under 2 years old! – There were a lot of questions and the side eye of friends, knowledge and even foreigners. (Even if I felt like I had won the lottery twice.) Some of these questions felt a little judicial.
“What if something happens to you before your children are cultivated?” was one of them. Well, something could happen to any of us at any time. Nothing is guaranteed.
Another question was: “Are you sad not to live to see your grandchildren?” And the fact is that, it doesn’t matter when I had them, my children may never choose to have their own children. Besides, I had children because I wanted to be a mother, not because I wanted be grandmother.
I also heard: “Do you worry, you will not have the energy to follow them?” Yes, young children take a lot of energy. Each parent is tired and we find a way to continue.
Whatever my answer to any question, the follow -up response was almost always a “I could” Never Do it. “
Now that my children are 15 and 13 years old, I can honestly say that I would start everything in the blink of an eye.
We had our children at the right time for us
Be a older mom made me a better parent in a way that I have never planned. I am much more patient than I have been in my twenties or thirties. As my children came in the world, I learned to ride with everything that life threw me. And now that my children are adolescents, I have the impression of being able to offer the kind of wisdom that only time and experience could give me.
My marriage and my career were also well established before my children entered the photo. My husband and I have been married for almost 20 years – all while he was in the navy – when our elder was born. We had two decades to build our relationship and weather the storms of life together, including many deployments of the navy.
This foundation helped us stay close High and bottom of parenting. We were also in a much better place financially than in these first years, living the pay check at the pay check.
But here is the thing that nobody told me to be an older mom: it made me feel younger than my real age. Many of my peers are now empty nest workers Who reduce the reduction of more than 55 communities and discuss retirement plans, with grandchildren who are not much younger than my own children.
Meanwhile, I help you do my homework, pack the school lunches and plan our spring vacation trip. Instead of slowing down, I ran (sometimes literally) alongside my children for 15 years, seeing the world through their eyes and developing a new sense of wonder and curiosity myself.
The author had his children at the age of 42 and 44. With the kind authorization of Kristina Wright
There are some challenges, but joy prevails over everything
It is not always easy. There are days when I would have liked to have the energy reserves of my 25 year old self and my days when, yes, I wonder if I will be there for their major stages of life.
Sometimes I feel like I don’t integrate myself with other younger mothers and the moments when I envy my empty friends whose calendar is not linked to the school calendar. But I never wonder if Have children in their forties was the right decision for me. The challenges of being an older mother are by far prevails over the joy and the appreciation that I have for this season of my life.
So when people say, “I could never do that”, I can’t help smiling. Because being an older parent has less to do with the year of my birth than with what I chose to do with the time that gave me. And I would do it again.
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