I Had a Baby in My 40s; There’s No Right Age for When to Have Kids

• I had kids in my 20s, 30s and 40s.
• While my body took longer to recover the older I got, I also learned to enjoy little things more.
• I’ve learned that there is no “right” age for when to have kids.

Parenting is one of those experiences that somehow gets better and harder with age.

When I had babies in my 20s, I was young and optimistic — I figured I could handle anything. By my 30s, I had a few more kids, a lot more chaos, and maybe just a little less mental bandwidth. But then, when I was 40, I surprised myself and decided to have one more.

Here’s the thing: being a parent is an adventure, and no matter how many kids you have or how old you are, the ride never gets predictable. Some parts are way harder than they used to be, and others are way sweeter.

Pregnancy at 40 was hard

Let me just start by saying that pregnancy at 40 is not for the faint of heart. At least, it wasn’t for me. The first big difference I noticed was the exhaustion. Sure, I was tired with my other pregnancies, but this time, it felt like I had been hit by a truck every time I got out of bed.

I used to bounce back quickly after a long day of work and chasing toddlers. At 40, it felt like I needed a recovery plan just to survive a trip to the grocery store. The baby bump wasn’t as perky as it used to be, and my back wasn’t as forgiving when I bent over to tie my shoes. Every movement felt like a yoga class I hadn’t signed up for.

The doctor’s appointments also took a bit more effort. Not just the regular ones — I had extra blood tests, ultrasounds, and “advanced maternal age” reminders.

Some days, I feel like I’m moving at a toddler’s pace just to keep up. My knees and ankles creak. My energy levels are more in line with someone preparing for a nap than chasing after a baby — the only thing I asked Santa for Christmas was uninterrupted sleep.

I can’t tell you how often I’ve looked at my husband and said, “I’m too old for this!” And yet, when that baby smiles at me when I hear that little giggle, I remember exactly why I’m doing it.

The biggest challenge isn’t just physical, though. I remember juggling a newborn with work and life in my 20s, thinking I was some kind of superwoman. In my 20s, I was ready to conquer the world with a baby in one hand and a coffee in the other. Now, at 40, I’m hoping to conquer the laundry pile before the baby wakes up.

I savor motherhood

Even with all the challenges, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Sure, my body doesn’t bounce back as quickly, but my heart is bigger than ever.

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Having a baby at 40 means you appreciate the little things even more — the snuggles, the baby smells, and the fact that you don’t have to Google “how to get a baby to sleep” every five minutes because, well, you already know the tricks.

I’ve also realized that I’m in a different place mentally. Parenting at this stage isn’t about surviving — it’s about savoring. The late-night wake-ups that used to drain me now feel like a special chance for one-on-one snuggles and quiet connection. I’m not running on fumes the way I did in my 20s. I’ve learned to enjoy the slow moments, the quiet nights, and the chaos, too. Because when you’re older, you know that all the crazy is part of the beautiful mess.

There’s no “right” age to have a kid. The journey might be a little more challenging the older you get, but it’s also much more rewarding.