DEAR ABBY: I have a handyman who works at my house. I noticed that when he uses the bathroom, he stays there for a while and goes to number two. My anxiety levels are through the roof. Do I tell her something, and what should I say? — NERVOUS LADY IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR MADAM: Can I share a truism? When you have to go, you have to go. If your handyman leaves the bathroom in the same condition when he left as when he entered, you don’t have to “worry”. Be friendly, and when you need a handyman, there will always be someone ready to help you.
DEAR ABBY: My colleague takes advantage of our employer’s generous sick leave policy and is frequently absent. She will return the next day without any outward signs of illness and has returned several times with a new haircut and manicure. When at work, she frequently steps away from her desk to make personal calls.
I finally said something to our supervisor because I feel taken advantage of. Having worked in this office for over 10 years, I know the job inside and out, so I can do my job – and his – with ease. In fact, I like my colleague, but I have the impression that she takes me for granted. Our supervisor had a conversation with her, but that didn’t help. Would it be unreasonable for me to have a frank discussion with her directly? I anticipate this might send chills down my spine, but I’m losing patience. — THE ENIGMA OF COLLABORATORS
DEAR COLLABORATOR: It’s not unreasonable to talk with this colleague, but what do you have to gain by confronting her and what do you have to lose? If this causes a more frigid working environment, don’t do it. A better solution would be to stop doing his job for her. Having to deal with the consequences of slacking off can prompt him to change his ways.
DEAR ABBY: My husband of many years is lovely and sweet every morning, but after drinking, which he does every day from 4 or 5, his personality changes. I have to be extremely careful with every word I say or I will be the recipient of his sarcasm and/or anger, so I’m anxious and worried every night until he falls asleep, which luckily , is very early.
In the morning, he expects me to be happy and cheerful as if nothing had happened the day before. I tried to discuss it with him, but it doesn’t help. After years of this I have become depressed and would really appreciate your advice. — TO END IN FLORIDA
DEAR AT THE END OF MIND: You are married to an alcoholic. Marriage to a verbally abusive alcoholic would make anyone depressed! I can only wonder why you chose to tolerate this for so long.
The path to a solution to your problem would begin with locating the nearest Al-Anon meeting and attending some of them. If you do, you will find the support and help you seek. You can find a nearby meeting by visiting al-anon.org/info.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
New York Post