I became a mom at 40 and my mother had me when she was 19 years old

When my mother was my age, she sent me to higher education. At 46, I send my little to the pre-K.

My parents had me when my mother was 19 and my father was 21 years old in the early 80s in Latin America. They abandoned the university and needed a lot of support for the child care of my grandparents. Although people have children at the time younger than they are, my mother was rare among her peers.

I had my child at 40 in 2020 and my pregnancy was officially classified as geriatric and at high risk. I was also a rarity: according to the CDC, just under 11% of living births in the United States were for women aged 40 and over in 2021.

Being young was hard for my parents, but there were also advantages

Although they came from fairly easy families, times were difficult. My young parents had fewer employment possibilities without a university degree, a situation aggravated by economic crises. In 1982, the Chilean stock market crashed, many banks were closed (including the one I worked), and a recession led rent to high rates. We have often moved, sometimes living with my grandparents.

They tried to open a cheese dairy, but I remember when the sudden floods made water spring in our store, ruining everything. They couldn’t take a break. They closed their things and immigrated to the United States with the help of my wonderful Irish-American grandfather, who had moved to Chile when he fell in love with my grandmother. My parents have found their place in America.

All this happened during the first nine years of my life, and they protected me from what was going on. My parents were full of energy and had a zest for life. It was a magical childhood, and we made adventures every weekend: camping, hiking, barbecue and visiting friends in the countryside. Later, in high school, I had a special link with my parents because we were so close to age. I could tell them anything, and I never really had a difficult teenage scene.

I’m glad I had my daughter when I did it, but sometimes I wonder

In Hispanic families, there is a tacit rule: do not get young. It is pierced to you from the start. I spent almost seven years at school, winning a baccalaureate, a master’s degree and almost a doctorate. I only met the love of my life until later and I got married at the end of the thirties. At that time, I succeeded and I settled in my startup marketing career. I also lived in San Francisco, one of the most expensive cities in the country.

Shortly after our marriage, we had to start IVF because my fertility test results showed that there was not much time left to start having children. Unfortunately, I lost my first pregnancy during my second trimester, but my daughter was born a year later without assisted reproduction technology. I was worried to try to get pregnant at my age, and I want me to have met my husband earlier so that we could have had more time, but some things you have no control.

She came a week before the pandemic blow. Like many couples during this period, we wanted to be near the family, so we bought a house closer to my parents.

Thanks to my husband’s career, I can stay at home during my daughter’s first years. Knowing that we can provide her with everything she needs and more makes me happy. My husband and I make departures and pickups, and I can go to all his scout outings and volunteer in his school. Recently, I started working on my independent public relations activities and I wrote more, and it feels good to be able to work in a way that allows me to spend more time with my daughter.

Although I have the privilege of a flexible schedule, younger parents have the upper hand when it comes to funny things. Playing with my daughter and friends is hard for the body when you are over 40 years old; Your back hurts, your knees you hurt and you feel tired much earlier.

I am in what older Latinas call my “señora era”, which means that I slow down physically and that I have to focus more on recharge, which younger parents do not really need. My fitness routine no longer concerns vanity – my husband and I stay active and look at what we eat so that we can stay healthy for our daughter and follow her as she grows without collapsing.

We camp twice a year and go to the beach and museums so that it never gets bored. I know that some younger parents are more dynamic and fun, like my parents when I grew up. When she is a teenager, we will be the old parents. When she is the age I am now, I may have gone, and it makes me sad.

I saw both sides and I see the advantages and difficulties for younger and older parents. I cannot say which one is the best, and that is perhaps the point. There is not a single way to do things. We were satisfied with what life gives us. I just have good memories, and I hope that my little one will also one day.