I am an older parent and all my friends are empty nest workers

When I was 38, I discovered that I was pregnant and I only had our second daughter two month before my 39th birthday.

Our eldest daughter was 8 years old and I was thinking of relaunching my career. I worked part -time remote work Until this point. I had just started training in a brand new full -time position and I was ready to abandon my distant job. At the time, the distant jobs were quite rare, and as a mother who wanted to stay at home with her children and win an income, I coveted this job.

I felt a certain freedom and I was delighted to focus on something new; A career, a new hairstyle, which trains again, buying new clothes and more wine evenings with my friends.

I went through all the emotions after discovering

After Discover that I was pregnant againI experienced all the emotions. I still thought about myself, I lost weight and I felt like more than a mom. But only two weeks in my new job, I stopped so that I can keep my job away. The distant work had the flexibility that I wanted so that I could be at home with a baby.

When we announced my pregnancyMost of our friends and family were in shock.

Until then, most of us had Tweens and adolescentsAnd we all moved into new chapters apart from having small children. One of our friends even said: “Well, you see in 10 years!” We did not know at the time how true it would be. We have only seen them only in the last decade.

Another of our groups of friends was a group of skiers And we all had children of the same age. We spent most of our winter months in long weekends in northern Michigan, where parents spent our time together while the children had their own ski adventures. But once we had our second child, we stopped being invited. When an infant is awake that cries most of the night, he carries people who are no longer in this phase of life.

I stopped going to the club of clubs, and people finally stopped asking me to join them because they knew I was busy with a baby.

Being an older parent is a different experience from the one when I was a younger mother

My youngest is now 12 years old and goes through pubescent problems of middle age. With friendship problems that start and knowing that it will be the norm of the next six years, as well as extracurricular activities and social events on weekends, I sometimes wonder if I have the energy to follow.

When I was a younger mother, I was very involved in everything my eldest daughter did. I have made it a duty to get to know the other mothers, set up game dates and often present themselves to take -off committee positions for his school. Now, I work full time as an independent writer, so I do not have space to establish links as I did with my eldest daughter.

I used to have a lot of anxiety at the idea of ​​keeping appearances. Now, I worry much less if I do the right thing as a parent.

My youngest took advantage of my ability to allow me to do a personal development work, which changed my parental style and helped me be much more relaxed. We don’t have to worry about money, and we can get what she needs without having to pinch money as we did with our first.

Our friends are empty nest workers, and sometimes I feel envious

I see photos on the social networks of our former ski friends to travel to Florida, Mexico and other places. Others travel for girls in Arizona and the county of Door, Wi. I see that many of them like to be empty nest workers and have the freedom to do something as simple as choosing a restaurant where chicken offers are not a requirement for the menu.

My youngest is the child we did not know that we needed until his arrival. Despite the age difference between my daughters, they are still quite close. So, even if I really fail to be part of these tropical holidays, long weekends and go to fancy restaurants, I am so happy to have the experience of being both a younger mother and an older mother. I wouldn’t change anything.