I am a single mother, so becoming an empty nicker was painful

While I moved away from the university dormitory of my son last summer, tears sank on my cheeks. I did not care about the mascara coated on my eyelids.

A few minutes later, I called my son to check how he was going. He gleaned and said, “Mom, I’m fine.”

As a single mother, I was not. I lacked his sweet voice missing. I kept our last moments at home together and I let all my emotions go out. I cried like a baby.

My two sons had now left the house and studied at the University of Tennessee. It was soft to let them go. I was happy for their achievements and that they had a new road in front of them, but I did not know what would be my journey.

I was also now an empty niciency – and I had to learn to agree with that.

I fought with silence in my empty nest

I was afraid of silence in my house. I traveled the rooms and realized that my children had left. I cried in silence, turning the music on my phone, so I didn’t feel alone.

Often, I found myself asleep on the sofa with the TV in the background.

I tried to fill my vacuum of work and friends, but I still had to go home to this quiet and empty house.

Being a single empty Nester mother is not for the weak. I had to focus on the best version of myself – and allow moments of sorrow when they hit me.

The feeling of loneliness was familiar

While I sat with my solitude and explore my identity crisis, I realized that these feelings were not new. I felt them when my parents died and never fully treated these emotions.

I wanted to be strong for my children and myself. I maintained my sorrow for a long time so that I can take care of my sons. But when they went to university, I realized that I had stored the pain of the loss of my parents. My children were almost like a shield protecting me from this pain.

Once they left, I had to face sorrow. When I was alone, sorrow came like a wave. I suddenly remembered my mother’s words. It was the woman who taught me English.

Become an empty nestter helped me have my feelings and rebuild my identity after losing my parents.

I learned to enjoy the freedom to be me

To continue my emotions, I decided to allow new experiences in my life. I have traveled and connected with new and old friends. I started writing again. I focused on daily personal care – such as evening walks, meditation, journalization and work on my state of mind.

I removed the layers of my soul and died deeply to discover who I was and what I hid from everyone. I came back to the original. For the first time, I decided what was best for me – not just my children.

I learned that by dropping your children, your happiness depends on you and you can create anything. This is part of mourning and healing.

I have acquired the freedom to steal and explore new possibilities. I always discover what makes me happy and I refuse to precipitate the process.