In their twenties, one of my friends had friendships with some older women than I envy. They were not mentors, but real friends, which meant when she shared her vulnerabilities, they also shared theirs. I could say how she gleaned their advice and their perspectives. There was a confidence that came from their experienced life experience, and I also wanted to learn from it. But I didn’t know how to get older friends.
A few years later, at the age of 27, I joined a group of criticism from a writer and I unexpectedly obtained the precious relationships I hoped for with people in the fifties, the 1960s and 70s. Perhaps the best part of have older friends Who write memories and essays, it is that I am aware of their stories and their prospects on the difficulties of life, and I also hear what they think of my work and my experiences. Here are some of the most useful things I have learned from them.
We often exchange a difficulty for another
As a mother of three young children, part of me has started to wait impatiently this season in life when I have “My Time” again. No child wakes me up in the middle of the night, no interruptions of my work when I was in deep concentration mode, just peace and calm and a calendar on my conditions.
I used to think that the education season of children in my life was supposed to be a period of deep altruism, but having older friends taught me that we often exchange difficulties or the responsibility of the station to another.
One of my friends took care of her husband for more than 20 years of illness due to Lewy and Parkinson’s body syndrome at the start of the start. Another still is a tireless goalkeeper for her husband in a wheelchair. And I have friends who also take care of their adult children for mental and physical reasons related to health.
Although the goalkeeper is not a universal experience, each stage of life has her own inherent difficulties. Rather than counting on the future “time of me” when my children are older, I started to continue my hobbies and my interests alongside raising them. Last summer, I had the opportunity to hike to the Grand Canyon, but I was afraid to leave my 1 year old child for the first time and the short training window.
My friend Kerri grabbed my hand and said, “Come on, don’t let fear hold back.”
“Hike while you still have good knees,” added another friend, Linda.
Because my older friends encouraged me, I went and I did an unforgettable hike.
The author’s writer’s group is an eclectic age mixture, which makes it special and unique. With the kind permission of Kris Ann Valdez
Whatever life is throwing you, it is better to keep a positive perspective
Linda took care of her mother after a diagnosis of dementia.
“It must have been so difficult,” I said, pity.
“It was an absolute privilege,” replied Linda.
I want to look more like Linda and accept each new phase of life as a privilege and an opportunity for growth.
Aging can provide a new level of self -confidence
One day, I confessed to Kerri that despite my best efforts, my new love handles seemed determined to stay.
She answered with a knowing smile. “As we get older, our bodies settle in themselves.” She said it was a good thing – and for the first time, I was wondering if it could be true.
Some of my friends say that aging has brought a new level of confidence. They have stopped worrying about what others think so much and choose to be shamelessly. Despite the wrinkles and arms and mid-sections, they feel more comfortable in their own skin. I am told that it is liberating.
I find their authenticity inspiring and refreshing to be there. I also want to be confident in the “scenario”, and not worry so much to reach the perfection of life and youth.
The author obtains advice from his friends. With the kind permission of Kris Ann Valdez
There is a part of us who never really have
“You never stop feeling that you are 23,” said Linda once. “My mother told me, but I didn’t believe her. Now I do it.”
She smiles, her prominent dimples. “Our body is aging, but our minds remain young.”
Linda says that part of Feeling Young Forever is always learning and living new things, and age is a certain number.
I believe her.
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