Drypsiak/Getty Images/iStockphoto
Drypsiak/Getty Images/iStockphoto
Negotiation skills aren’t just for high-stakes situations like job offers and pay raises. They can be used in everyday life, for example to figure out where you and your friends should go on vacation or what you and your partner should cook for dinner tonight.
They can also help you make decisions with more confidence, says Joan Moon, a career coach and head of negotiation coaching at the Negotiation and Conflict Resolution Collaboratory at the Harvard Kennedy School. “They can improve your satisfaction with your situation and make you feel like you are making intentional choices.”
Moon explains four classic negotiation tactics often used in business environments and how they can be applied in everyday circumstances.
The tactic: comparative analysis
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This strategy allows you to gather the information you need to make a fair decision. It’s when you compare an offer to market standards and best practices, “and then figure out where you fall within that range” to get an optimal offer. People often use benchmarking in salary negotiations to make sure they’re being paid fairly, Moon says.
How to use it daily: Use this tactic when making important consumer choices, Moon says, like hiring a contractor to renovate your kitchen or buying a car. “What you do is look for good information and an appropriate price for that purchase” to bring your budget in line with industry standards.
Tactics: win-win strategy
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This helps the different parties find a solution that is in everyone’s interest. You might see it in business contracts or employment agreements, for example. The parties will only sign when the terms are mutually beneficial.
How to use it daily: Try this when you want the other party to not only agree with your decision, but to feel good about it. Moon shares a recent personal experience. Her phone line was down, so she called her phone company to reconnect, but customer service agents were unhelpful. She felt upset and so decided to reframe her request using a win-win strategy. She said: “Look, I’ve been working in this business for ten years and I’d like to continue doing it for another ten years. Can we focus on a solution?
The approach worked, she said. The company didn’t want to lose a loyal customer, and Moon wanted his phone repaired.
Tactics: a menu of options
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This approach avoids requests that result in a simple yes or no answer. People often use this tactic when negotiating the benefits of a job offer, Moon says. For example, instead of asking for more flexibility for a new job and getting a resounding no, you could offer a few options: work three days remotely or a four-day work week, thereby increasing the chances of a successful outcome. favorable.
How to use it daily: Offer someone “a menu of options” if they think only one solution is possible. Let’s say you’re angry at your roommate for being messy, Moon says. Instead of asking them to clean (which they haven’t done), give them choices: hire a cleaner, change the distribution of responsibilities at home, or adjust the cleaning schedule. “When you present options, it signals to the other person: Let’s solve this problem together,” Moon says.
The tactic: the best alternative to a negotiated agreement
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Negotiators use BATNA to develop a backup plan when the desired outcome is not possible. This helps avoid a completely win-lose situation. You can use BATNA when comparing job offers with unfavorable conditions. For example, one job requires you to move your family to another state, while the other job pays less but is local. Your BATNA might be to stay at your current job and continue job searching until you find something better.
How to use it daily: You can use BATNA for the smallest decisions, like knowing what to eat for dinner. Let’s say your partner wants to stay home and cook tacos but you don’t feel like it. So you offer your BATNA – you’ll go out for a hamburger instead. Yes, you will have to leave the house, but you won’t need to cook or clean the kitchen.
The digital story was written by Malaka Gharib and edited by Margaret Cirino and Meghan Keane. The visual editor is Beck Harlan. We would like to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823 or email us at LifeKit@npr.org.
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