Dear Harriette: My roommate operates at 5 am every day, which means that its alarm is triggered at 4:30 am, and that affected my sleep in a major way.
The noise alone is enough to get me out of my sleep, and when I finally manage to fall asleep, it is almost time for me to get started to work.
I tried everything I can think of to face it. I used earplugs, I tried white noise machines and I even changed my sleep schedule to try to go to bed earlier so that I can get a few solid hours before the alarm is triggered. Nothing works, and it affects my mood, my productivity and even my health.
I don’t know how to approach my roommate about this problem. I can’t tell him that he can’t wake up early to train – it’s his routine and I don’t want to make him feel bad. At the same time, I have the impression that my right to sleep a decent night was completely compromised.
How can I talk to my roommate without giving him the impression that he must choose between his physical form and my sleep?
– Alarm
Dear alarm: Talk to your roommate of its alarm. Explain that you think it is great that he has such a rigorous and disciplined training schedule, but his alarm disturbs your sleep. Ask him if he can find another way to get on to get up.
There are silent vibrant alarms that can be worn on the wrist for this purpose. They say they work even for heavy sleepers.
Dear Harriette: My friend continues to invite me to work on events where she is far too busy to interact or catch up with me. For me, it looks like a thoughtless effort.
I see her taking time for other people outside of work – quite often, in fact. Whenever I lift him and explains that I want us to have more personal time outside his workplace, which, without offense, is really not so interesting for me, she reminds me that she always includes me in everything she has.
I recognize that she makes great progress in her career currently, which is why I choose to present and support her, but that no longer looks much like friendship. Do I have to try to be more understanding? Or is it possible that she just does not want to do other activities with me?
– Associate friends
Dear friends to associates: Assess the situation. Do you gain the value of participation in your friend’s work events? Do you meet interesting people or do you establish significant contacts? Do you help your friend in her career? If so, continue to accept your invitations and make the most of the experiences.
Right now, your friend climbs to the scale of her career and is not as careful as you prefer. Gives his grace. Find other friends who can fill the void. Notice over time if it comes back.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of Dreamleapers, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to Askharriette@harriettecole.com or to the syndication Andrews McMeel, 1130, rue Walnut, Kansas City, MO 64106.
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