This essay as told is based on a conversation with Sonakshi Pandey, cloud computing product manager at Google in Seattle. It has been edited for length and clarity. Business Insider checked his employment history.
I was three years into my career as a software engineer when I realized I wanted to challenge myself.
I loved coding, but I loved a role that was less confined to the office and encouraged me to meet people and speak in public, which made me anxious because I’ve always been an introvert.
I found that a solution architecture role would be a good entry point and interviewed to move to Amazon Web Services, from Amazon.com, where I was at the time.
I got the job and had the opportunity to speak at client meetings.
But my first presentations were very difficult: I struggled with confidence, imposter syndrome and memorizing a script.
It took hours of hands-on presentations and guidance from various mentors to help me become a person who speaks comfortably at technical meetings and conferences.
Now, I am selective about who I choose to mentor. Here’s why I do it and how I select mentees:
Being a mentor benefits me
I mentor interns at Google and various people at different stages of their career who reach out to LinkedIn or other social media. I am also starting an advisory role at the University of Washington this summer.
I have found it to be a mutually beneficial relationship, where I also learn a lot from talking to them.
Having mentees from backgrounds such as data analytics, solutions architecture, and people management has exposed me to parts of the technology landscape that I am less familiar with.
Seeing my mentees succeed not only gives me confidence in the impact I can create, but has reignited my passion for my field.
I’ve been a mentor for about four years now. Most of my mentoring relationships also turn into professional relationships and become good opportunities for collaboration or support.
What I look for in mentees
As someone with nearly 10 years of experience in Big Tech, I receive a lot of solicitations on social media and email.
When I first started building my Instagram and YouTube tech accounts, I was excited to help anyone who contacted me and asked for my time.
I quickly realized that I would need a way to filter mentees, as not everyone would reciprocate or recognize the effort I was putting into supporting them. This made me very protective of myself and the hours I dedicated to mentoring.
What I look for in cold contacts
I find that the best contacts are those who demonstrate research and effort.
I always appreciate when people include something they learned from my content and how it helped them or comments on my posts. Interactions that start by asking me for more details or questions about a topic I mention are also a great way to communicate.
One of my contacts introduced himself saying he got a free certification after watching one of my videos and would like my help using it to land a full-time position, which My brand.
I find this is a great way to establish a two-way relationship instead of just showing up and asking for 15 minutes of my time.
A nice email also seems more thoughtful than a direct message on Instagram or a connection request on LinkedIn. I naturally get a lot more of them because they require less effort.
Very few people do the hard work of going to my “About” page on YouTube and finding my email.
Building long-term relationships
I look for people who seem proactive and self-reliant. I love when mentees set ambitious goals and look for resources to achieve them. They come to meetings with thoughtful questions and a desire to learn from my personal stories.
The mentees with whom I have long-term relationships are the ones who approach setbacks with optimism. They are also honest with me and true to themselves.
I advise those looking to become mentors to look for similar characteristics. The best mentees are self-starters who come to meetings prepared and eager to pay it forward.
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