Here are the best tweets about Apple’s ‘Far Out’ event TechCrunch

Pre-recorded Apple presentations are always a little weird. This heavily produced performance features Apple executives talking to us about their new products as they rush through scenic deserts or embark on strange, non-existent subways.

Today’s presentation was even weirder, perhaps because it launched with a lengthy Apple Watch ad that basically sent the message, “If you don’t buy this, you’ll die of a seizure. heart.” We also saw some ever-controversial notch action, as well as some subtle hints of Roe v. Wade as Apple added a new menstrual health tracker to its Apple Watch.

Of course, this brouhaha meant that jaded tech types made sarcastic jokes on Twitter. I laughed at many of them. Here are some tweets for your viewing pleasure.

Apple is so dramatic

Yesterday, former One Direction member Harry Styles described why he’s enjoying his upcoming movie, ‘Don’t Worry Darling’. He said, “My favorite thing about the movie is that it feels like a movie.”

Styles got a lot of flak for that innocuous quote, but I get it. My favorite thing about Apple Events is that they feel like Apple Events. These graphics are so beautiful that they almost make you forget their continuing mission to prevent their employees from unionizing. This was especially true today, when much of the event focused on how you can wear Apple Watch Ultra while scuba diving, ultra-marathon running, climbing Mount Everest, etc. Al.

The “Dynamic Island”

Apple called its notch replacement — a pill-shaped cutout — a “dynamic island.” Apple users seem split on whether or not this is a good notch alternative. I’m personally a fan, but others will be nothing short of a true full-screen experience. Everyone seems to agree, however, that Dynamic Island is a very silly name. Our hardware editor Brian Heater, who attended today’s event in person, told us that the public laughed at the name when it was announced.

I wrote on Dynamic Island, only to be rated by a TechCrunch reader. To be fair, this answer was pretty funny. I’m watching you, Joseph.

The Apple Watch Ultra is a bit too extreme

The intro video to today’s hour-plus presentation featured a teenager fearing for his life as a bear wandered through his kitchen, only for his Apple Watch to save the day. It was strange. But as Apple introduced its ultra-durable Apple Watch Ultra, designed for use in extreme sports, things got stranger.

Then Apple introduced the SOS Satellite, which helps get you to safety if you face an off-grid emergency. It’s a very useful feature and a clever application of technology – but after too many mentions of bear attacks and scuba diving, it seemed worrying.

We’re all tired of the Lightning cable

The European Union is taking legislative action to require all smartphones to use a common USB-C charger by fall 2024. Some USB-C enthusiasts got hopeful, wondering if that meant that the iPhone 14 would finally get rid of the Lightning cable in exchange for a USB-C port. Makes sense – iPads and MacBooks run on USB-C chargers, and as Haje wrote in an avid blog post, “pretty much anything that isn’t an iPhone, and the Apple Keyboard , or the AirPods, runs over USB-C these days.” Unfortunately, Apple didn’t take the plunge today.

Either way, if you want an actual recap of what you missed in today’s event, check out Greg’s recap.


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