Going on vacation without my husband is good for our wedding

As a newlywed young in her twenties, my husband and I made a Beijing backpack in Paris, spending 14 weeks going up train, buses and boats. We were good travel partners. But as we get older, our travel desires have diverged: I itch for more adventure, while he prefers the holidays spent to read and sketch.

For my 50th birthday, instead of coaxing my husband to join me during a hiking trip to a national park, I invited our 20 -year -old daughter, who likes active adventures as much as I do. We also brought a family friend – who, like me, left her husband behind.

The three of us went to Utah to explore the national parks of Zion and Bryce Canyon. Along the way, I sent to my artistic husband many photos of the red cliffs against the blue sky.

He would have hated all of this

When we won the license lottery to make rocky training of 1,488 feet of Zion, Angels Landing, I knew that the girls had been the right choice – my husband was always afraid of the heights. With narrow paths and departures, landing angels are considered one of the most terrifying hikes in America.

The four -hour hike at Angels Landing begins with Walter’s Wiggles, a series of intense laces. Once we entered the upper section of the formation, we scrambled on the rocks and we have on the tips of wide paths. The river winding through the canyon below looked like an airplane.

I must admit that I was a little trembling when I arrived at the short sections without chain to embrace. My husband would not have been afraid at all – because he would have fallen Miles earlier.

We also signed up for another of my husband’s most hated activities: horse riding. We went down to the Bryce canyon on mules and ponies, hoping that they would not lose their place when we appreciate an intimate view of the famous hoodoos of the park.

We have also done canyonering, by wearing harnesses and helmets to recall canyons with slot to otherwise inaccessible. Rack back from a cliff edge to go down, the “Spider-Man” style was very fun for us girls. For my husband? Canyoneering would have been another big no.

Break routines and learn new skills

During our adventures, the girls and I laughed and told stories constantly. Although I like my husband, my mind bask in the break of quarrels and everyday responsibilities. If there had been there, I would have put a full dinner on the table every evening. But with us just girls, we ate houmous directly from the container for dinner when we wanted to.

I got married at 24 and I have been married for more than half of my life. One thing that happens when you cut young people is specialization. When we travel together, my husband does most of the driving. During this trip and a few others, I was able to improve my driving skills, even if I still have to learn to change a tire by myself.

Now that our three children are adolescents or young adults, my husband and I discover what big traveling companions they are – each one shares different interests with us, including some that we do not share with each other.

Last month, my husband took the two young children to visit our oldest in his university city for a hockey match – something that would have bored me in tears, but they all loved it.

Traveling separately has not only allowed everyone to continue what we really appreciate without guilt, but it is also practical: I am independent with a flexible time, while he has a limited vacation, and with two still children in high school, solo trips left one of traveling to us during the school year without leaving them alone.

This has strengthened our relationship

When friends and family discover that one of us does not come on a trip, they often ask “why?” I am sure that some fear that our separate wanderings mean that we are heading for divorce.

In reality, our trips from his and sleeves were a relational boon. After 27 years to go through the same daily hours, we generally do not have much to say that the other had not heard before. The trip gives us new stories to share.

The night when my daughter and I got home from our Utah adventure, my husband had a hot meal on the table and was delighted to sit and see photos.

“You have to see that!” I found myself saying that we shared the sight of the imposing walls of Zion. I told him how the icy water of the virgin river felt on our bare feet near the narrows, and he said that he would like to experience it.

And maybe next time we will travel together. We could register for a bicycle visit – its favorite active pursuit – and skip steep hikes.

Do you have a story to share on the celebration of your 50th birthday? Contact the publisher at akarplus@businessinsider.com.