Dear Harriette: All my friends are running, and lately, they have spoken to train together for a marathon.
They continue to encourage me to join them, saying that it would be an incredible challenge, an excellent liaison experience and something that I would be proud to accomplish.
The problem is that I hate running. I never appreciated it and I have no passion for that. The idea of training for months and running 26.2 miles seems miserable, not exciting.
At the same time, I feel like I was missing by not participating. I don’t want to be strange while they all support each other and celebrating this huge step together. I fear that if I do not try at least, I will feel excluded or that I regret not being part of something so important for them.
However, I don’t want to force myself to do something that I just hate to integrate myself.
Should I push myself to try it anyway and see if I learn to love it? Or is it acceptable to say no and find other ways to connect with my friends without running marathon?
– Peer pressure
Dear peer pressure: It is understandable that you worry about losing momentum and privacy with your friends if you are the only one to choose not to participate in the race. It’s ok. The dynamics of relationships change over time, and it is normal for you not to participate in something that does not interest you.
There is an alternative. With your limited interest in sport but a real interest in your friends, plan to offer to document their process.
Would you be ready to go and practice shopping once a month – or with another frequency – and take photos during their race? Interview them periodically from their experiences? Offer another logistical support while they train? Be there on the day of the marathon to encourage them and record their success?
It could be a great way to stay connected to them without having to do what you don’t like.
Dear Harriette: A few months ago, my son was brutally attacked and stolen outside a nightclub. He ended up undergoing three surgeries and is still in physiotherapy.
Fortunately, he is finally able to walk again, but have to take care of himself and see him in this way broke my heart.
His 40th anniversary arrives and he plans to party. I can’t wrap my head around that.
After an imminent death experience, why would you like to go back to party? Isn’t that how we arrived here in the first place?
– frightening mom
Dear frightening mom: As a mother and the one who treated him where he is today, it is logical that you would be worried about his next steps.
What you don’t want is that your son remains scary and moves away from life. Organizing a party to celebrate his life can be a wonderful experience for him and all the participants. Do not discourage it.
At the same time, you can encourage him to make sure choices for her life. Whatever his role in the injury – as perhaps not being sober – he should examine so that he does not repeat these errors. He also wants to take self -defense lessons.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of Dreamleapers, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to Toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or C / O Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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