Devin takes on the guys in Australia

This week on The BacheloretteJenn and her suitors have fled the (rat-infested?) Hummingbird Nest Ranch and begun their international “journey” to find “love.”

Let’s summarize!

Welcome to Melbourne — Jenn is right, it’s pronounced MEL-ben — Australia, rose lovers! Jenn is really excited to see her 18 “very, very sexy” men, who have just landed at Tullamarine Airport. Um, Aaron Erb, could you put your shirt back on, please? You’re in public, man!

Honestly, I apologize to all Australians for having to listen to the contestants try to do an Aussie accent by saying things like “G’day, mate” and “land down undah.” (Although I said that “none of these other guys are pretending to be a husband” was a very good pun.)

The first international outing of the season goes to Sam “Love Virgin” N., Marvin, Brian, Jonathan, Aaron Erb, Grant, Jeremy and Devin. (The producers break with tradition and have Thomas N. read the date card, even though he is not included in the group date.)

The guys meet Jenn at the Queen Victoria Market for a consumer-focused meet-up. First up: Vegemite tasting! Grant describes the taste as “peanut butter with soy sauce,” which honestly doesn’t sound so bad to me. But clearly, Jenn does NOT like it.

To accompany it all, a friendly vendor serves the group “desert oyster shots”, a shot of local whisky accompanied by kangaroo meatballs. But not just any meatballs.

I love how the salesman waited until Grant started chewing the meatball to announce this. (By the way, if there are any Australians reading this, does the “desert oyster shot” really exist in your country, or did the producers just make it up to torture the contestants? Let us know!)

“It was a crazy day,” Jenn says. “I had a kangaroo testicle in my mouth.” Still, she appreciates how the men in attendance go out of their way to create “special moments” with her by trying new foods. All except Sam N., of course. The first setback was when he told Jenn he didn’t like olives (“I love olives!” she replied), and now he won’t try cheese because “he can’t eat dairy.” I mean, the guy has to watch his GI system, sure, but Sam N. worries that he’s “falling behind in a race that hasn’t even started yet.”

For his part, Devin is determined not to get “lost” in this octo-pod. “I have a surprise for you,” he whispers to Jenn. “But we have to be quiet.” As he leads her away from the stall where they’re shopping, the other guys start to grumble. “I feel slighted,” Aaron Erb says. “We’re on a group date. This should be a group date. For Devin, pushing Jenn away is like asking him, ‘Who do you think you are?’” The Bachelorettedude! who is this? You You think you are?

Jeremy suggests they go “take her back” and leave Devin “in the dust.” But first, they’ll have to find them — and I’m sure the producers gave Jenn and Devin a serious head start.

The Bachelorette is impressed with Devin’s initiative. “It’s all about the little moments, and Devin wants to create his own little moment, which I love,” she enthuses. That said, Jenn admits that “it’s a little awkward when the guys come over.” And they do. Aaron Erb jokes that their date was “interrupted,” and when Jenn says she feels bad about it, he’s quick to lash out at Devin: “It’s okay, it wasn’t you.”

Maybe it’s time to lighten the mood! Jenn and her suitors head to a comedy show, and as soon as they sit down, a woman named Bec Charlwood immediately starts to drive the men crazy. “Oh, we’ve got some latecomers here,” she says. “That’s so interesting. You look like the kind of guys who usually show up early.” (BURN!) Of course, we know where this is going, rose lovers. Ms. Charlwood informs the guys that they have 10 minutes to write some “zingers” and perform them in front of a group. Jenn needs a man with a sense of humor, after all. Instantly, the men start sweating.

It’s okay, Jonathon. Self-awareness is important too.

Devin starts and he teases the guys for “going out” instead of focusing their attention on Jenn. (A few bonus points for his use of the word “brotherly,” which I guess is the most common one.) Bachelorette The contestants can’t spell, much less use the word in a sentence. (The bar is set pretty low with this group, rose lovers.) Naturally, plenty of other men try to insult Devin during their time on stage. Jeremy calls him “ugly”; Grant says he’s “full of sh—“; and Aaron Erb has the best line, calling Devin the “low-budget Pete Davidson.”

That should have been the end of the story, but Aaron Erb can’t let it go. He heads to the after-party, determined to get Devin to “fess up” to stealing Jenn. Bro, your twin brother didn’t tell you ANYTHING about how this show works? Your naivety is a little embarrassing. Whenever he gets the chance, Aaron Erb teases Devin for his daring “steal” during the date. “That seemed a little early to me,” he says. Devin doesn’t care at all, which annoys Aaron Erb even more.

Other boys, like Jonathon, choose to focus on their time with Jenn. He and Jenn bond over being awkward kids who then got an “adrenaline rush.” ​​When Jonathon asks Jenn when she grew out of her awkward phase, she jokes, “I don’t know, yesterday?” (Ah! Do I see a personality coming?) (Sorry, that was mean.)

Grant snaps at Jenn and asks her what made her the woman she is today. It’s a vague question, but at least he seems to listen to her answer: growing up with divorced parents, working since she was 14, learning to be grateful for what she has. And Jenn appreciates that Grant is open to starting a family—in fact, it’s his current “mission” in life. “That really touched me,” she admits. At the same time, I appreciate that Grant seems open to the idea of ​​taking Jenn’s last name—in case they ever get married.

Oh my god, it’s Aaron Erb always He’s talking about Devin stealing Jenn off a date? Okay, this is starting to sound more like a “camera time ploy” than a “real complaint.” It’s bad enough that he calls Devin “Dylan,” but then accusing him of not being “ready” to settle down when he’s literally known the guy for 48 hours? Noah, call your buddy and tell him to stop being so hungry for a spot on HeavenThis is really embarrassing.

As annoying as Devin is, he handles this unprovoked attack calmly. “I’m not here to say that your way is wrong or your way is right,” he tells Aaron Erb. “So I don’t think it’s fair for you to say that my way is wrong or my way is right.” All he’s done, Devin continues, is take advantage of an opportunity to spend time with Jenn. “I haven’t seen you take charge,” he tells Aaron Erb. “I don’t think she wants someone who’s going to sit around and focus on what everybody else is doing.” Ugh, Aaron Erb isn’t making me side with the low-budget Pete Davidson.

After all this, Erb’s dad has the audacity to announce that he doesn’t want to “get sucked into any drama.” Instead, he sits down with Jenn and lightheartedly complains about how difficult the group date is for him because he’s sometimes “passive” when it comes to “asserting himself.” (Oooh, what every single woman wants to hear from a potential partner!)

If you’re wondering what the producers have been doing all this time, wonder no more.

Yeah, they gave Devin a room service cart and a big bowl of ice cream and sent him to interrupt Aaron Erb’s conversation with Jenn. (The crazy ice cream truck music “Pop Goes the Weasel” was also a nice touch.) Aaron Erb asks for a minute to finish his conversation with the Bachelorette, but Devin declines. “Ice cream is melting, Aaron,” he says. “I really can’t.” Say it with me, rose lovers: The devil works hard, but Bachelorette Producers are working harder.

While Jenn and Devin talk, Aaron Erb stands outside, stewing in his own hatred. Jeremy encourages him to go back in and kick Devin out, which the elder Erb does. Jenn is clearly uncomfortable, as anyone would be in this situation, so she assures Devin that there’s “plenty of me to go around” and that everyone will have their time. Honestly, I wish the producers would let the protagonist deal with these conflicts on his own, but that’s not how they work.

Oh my God, is that Devin coming in? Again to interrupt Aaron’s interruption? This is getting ridiculous. “I feel like I’m in an arm wrestle,” Jenn says with a sigh. “Don’t make a fool of yourself, man,” Devin whispers. “Stand up.” Aaron Erb declines, and the bickering continues. Hey, guys, READ THE ROOM! This dick-swinging nonsense isn’t going to win you any points with the Bachelorette.

“I don’t like that Aaron and Devin are fighting right now,” Jenn says. “It’s not really my thing.” She asks Devin point blank if he gets along with other guys. “Absolutely,” he lies. Still, she kisses him. Ugh. The real tragedy of all this toxic masculinity is that it’s kept us from seeing more of this handsome man.

Justice for Marvin!

Let’s get this party over with. I’m going to skip the rest of Aaron Erb and Devin’s nonsense and get straight to…