Dear Jane,
I’ve been in the same role for about six years now and until a few months ago I was always fortunate to have what I considered to be excellent colleagues.
But in September, a new member of the team joined us and he quickly established himself as the “handsome guy” of the office, gaining a lot of fans – both among women, who find him handsome, and among men , with whom he becomes friends. with football and drinking.
But out of everyone, I had to work the most closely with him, and I quickly realized that he had a much crueler side to him than he let most people see.
I would hear him making horrible and cruel comments over the phone to people at other companies and making disgusting and offensive jokes about certain women in the office behind their backs…it was all horrible, but I did my best to make it happen. ‘ignore. and continue my own work.
Gradually, however, his behavior started to become more erratic – and he ended up yelling at a poor woman on the phone for no reason at all.
Dear Jane, I got my popular colleague fired after reporting his shockingly bad behavior – but now everyone in the office is turning on me.
I approached his desk to ask what was going on and saw what was obviously drug paraphernalia lying there near his computer.
He tried to cover it up with his keyboard but I know exactly what I saw and decided I needed to report it to HR. What I have done. I made a full report on everything I had seen and heard, and ultimately, they decided it would be best to terminate his contract, much to my relief, I admit.
The thing is, no one else in the office really knew what was going on, and they all seem to have thought now that I was some sort of snitch who was out to get it all along. I feel like they’ve all turned on me and I’m so sick of the snide comments and pointed whispers that walking into the office has become miserable.
International bestselling author Jane Green offers insightful advice on DailyMail.com readers’ most burning questions in her column “Jane’s Dear Agony Aunt.”
I don’t want to risk raising this situation with my boss because I don’t want him to have even more “proof” that I’m a chatterbox, but this whole situation is making my work life unbearable. I know there’s more to life than a job, but the thought of leaving this great job because of this asshole’s behavior is so frustrating!
Do you have any ideas on how I can stop them?
From,
Cruelty towards water coolers
Dear Water Cooler Cruelty,
It’s hard to be the lone warrior for justice, but know that you absolutely did the right thing, even if you may regret it now.
Most people don’t do the right thing. They turn their heads, hoping that the bad behavior will stop or that someone else will take care of it for them.
It takes a lot of courage to report, especially when it risks alienating others, and again, I applaud your courage.
My first piece of advice is to get your colleagues together, or maybe have a drink after work, and explain to them your reasons for reporting him.
Tell them that you stand by your decision, because no one deserves to be talked about behind their back or treated badly. Explain that you have been very happy in your job and have always felt lucky to have such great colleagues.
If they decide to punish you for reporting your coworker, that’s too bad and there’s nothing you can do about it.
After that, Water Cooler, go about your daily business as usual.
If they choose to continue whispering and making comments, ignore them. If they continue, know that it has nothing to do with you, but is somehow fueled by drama and gossip.
Keep your head up, and it will undoubtedly explode.
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