Not to be cruel or cold, but what difference does it make?
By now you know at least as well as I do that in-studio NFL pregame shows are not only a colossal waste of our time, it hardly matters if the panelists include Jo Jo the Dog Boy, Caligula Jones and Estes Kefauver, we wouldn’t spend 10 seconds watching if it wasn’t followed by an NFL game.
Last week, Phil Simms and Boomer Esiason, after more than 20 years each with CBS, received the nod and will be replaced by former QB Matt Ryan and superstar passer JJ Watt.
So what? Neither will add a single viewer outside of those close to them – not as long as a kickoff follows. Same thing with Simms and Esiason since the day they first stepped into the CBS studio.
This studio, during the Simms and Esiason years, underwent all kinds of expensive cosmetic upgrades and even makeovers – none of which were really worth the viewers’ hassle.
The content of the studio show – all of it, in every NFL-affiliated studio show – has been the same: redundant, uncreative: “Who do you like in the Chiefs-Lions game?” Right here on CBS, followed by “60 Minutes” and, unless forced laughs count, humorless.
Naturally, the NFL must be protected from negative opinion at all times, as if Roger Goodell could otherwise refuse to cash billions of dollars in TV checks.
The sympathetic figure of this latest purge is Simms. Esiason was an ill-advised hire to begin with – as he was often tongue-tied, lost for adjectives, adverbs and useful ideas.
He can now continue his role as the Weekday Boomer, shedding his gentlemanly CBS facade to focus on playing the role of a childish insult and foul-mouthed WFAN morning co-host looking to attract listeners who should then be sitting in their fifth grade classrooms.
(Esiason has never apologized for mocking former Knicks manager Donnie Walsh for being relegated to a wheelchair after surgery.)
Simms was a different story. Twenty-six years ago, when CBS snatched him from the clumsy clutches of ESPN and NBC, I would have thought he would become the nation’s most beloved on-site NFL analyst. Working with Jim Nantz, Simms didn’t hesitate to put us ahead of CBS and the NFL.
He often demystified statistics, worked behind the scenes to eliminate stupid graphics, attacked players who risked penalties and games with selfish play, and questioned the practicality of the ever-changing rules – including the “do it right” proofreading rules too. I was often wrong.
Simms was always prepared and therefore always gave us his best free kick. He even solidified a relationship of good faith by doing the forbidden thing: telling us he was wrong. “See it right there in the replay? I was wrong.” Imagine that!
But then something happened, something from deep within that spread outward. Simms suddenly became a smiling, transparent, cautious, see-no-evil, talk-nothing NFL spokesperson/competitor and flatterer – which is what Nantz had become.
Perhaps the most disgusting nationally televised game in NFL history, the 2016 Bengals-Steelers AFC wild-card game in which both teams and their coaches traded chances of losing by allowing their players to act like violent and unbalanced convicts.
The game’s “influencers” included luminaries such as Vontaze Burfect, Adam “Pacman” Jones and one willing participant, Steelers assistant coach Joey Porter. The game was won 18-16 by Pittsburgh – actually lost by Cincy – with a short field goal after the Bengals were hit with back-to-back unsportsmanlike conduct penalties.
Nantz and Simms, who had previously remained silent throughout what was an insane and brutal match, finally spoke up after the late-game nadir erupted, and even then, in far too light-hearted fashion. I knew then that Simms had changed.
And the next season, CBS changed him by assigning him to Devil’s Island – the studio show, where in the end we would see him with Esiason unfortunately selecting Over/Unders to serve CBS sports betting announcers. CBS replaced him with Tony Romo, signing him for a horribly insane $180 million.
I could have saved CBS $180 million by telling Simms – ordering him – to return to his No. 1 analyst days by being better, different, special. But I’m sure at $180 million you, like CBS, would much rather have Romo calling a play than Phil Simms. So do the hokey pokey and turn around.
Joe Girardi looks OK with Soto’s slow basics
For crying out loud, Joe Girardi, a YES Yankees commentator, is now telling us a “truth” that we and probably he do not believe.
On Thursday, Juan Soto of the Yankees did what he has always done throughout his three-team, seven-season career: He hit a deep ball. Then he lingered in style near home plate to see if it would be a home run or, in this case, perhaps a foul ball.
It was neither. As Soto ran to first, the ball hit the left field wall and then along the wall toward center. A number inside the park? Maybe!
But Soto, benched by the Nationals for not hustling, was too late to show up. He had to settle for a no-throw triple.
When asked about it by Michael Kay, Girardi not only excused Soto for his indefensible standard minimalism, he rationalized it not as a matter of shoving Soto but as “a bad read.” Eh.
Is a bad reading like a bad guess? Is misreading, whatever that means, a legitimate defense for not showing up first?
Would Girardi, as a manager, accept such an excuse?
“Why were you first instead of second?” »
“Wrong reading.”
“Oh, then that suits me.”
Next target of vulgar New York fans?
Mob mentalities come in many forms. If I told you a joke, one-on-one, and you responded by shouting “Wooo!” To my face, I would think you were crazy. A good joke should make you laugh, not “Woooo!! »
Yet a comedian, when concluding a joke in front of a larger audience, will often hear a group “Wooo!” instead of real laughter. Maybe it’s to show the comic as well as the rest of the audience that you understand.
Now, internal Knicks fans have to worry about finding a Pacer they can chant vulgarities about. It’s funny, we’ve never seen or heard an individual viewer start a “F— fill in the blank!” » song. This type would generally be avoided as an open wound.
But if you can find three or four bright lights to start chanting “F–- Embiid,” eight or nine thousand more will soon follow.
It takes more than one village idiot to make a village.
Reader Michael Duncan: “In the early 1970s, A’s owner Charlie Finley suggested that all MLB players become free agents after each season. He was laughed at out of the room.
“So, in your wildest dreams, did you ever think this would be implemented in college sports? »
Hell, I thought you had to be able to read and write to get into any university, let alone get a full scholarship among other benefits. It doesn’t look good for the good guys.
New York Post
