DEAR MISS MANNERS: My high school senior made a mistake, and the consequence is that although he will graduate, he will not be able to participate in any senior activities, including attending graduation and walking across the stage.
I’ve already purchased graduation announcements, and they all say the date and time of the ceremony. I can’t send them now I guess????
How do I let people know that my first child graduated, without letting them know that he wasn’t allowed on stage?
GENTLE READER: This is not your son’s finest moment. Miss Manners would think it is in her best interest not to draw attention to a situation that might erupt anyway, since she is probably known throughout the school.
She suggests you use the ads like scrap paper and just tell anyone interested that yes, your son graduated high school and is now… (fill in the blank: attending college, starting a job, or whatever That he does. ).
DEAR MISS MANNERS: We’re approaching that moment again: time for the ridiculous kindergarten “graduation” show.
I usually decline invitations to such events, but this year I have a “graduating” great-niece who lives in the same city as me.
I think I should attend and do my best to limit looking at the sky. Is a gift obligatory? What do we offer a 6 year old child for this event?
GENTLE READER: You seem to have difficulty appreciating the solemnity of the occasion and the mastery of your great-niece’s academic skills. Miss Manners therefore suggests approaching it more like the young woman’s entry into (slightly) higher studies.
So you wouldn’t give him a toy, but an introduction to a subject that interests you: science, art, history, whatever it may be. The gift could be a primary school book or, better yet, a trip with you to a museum, laboratory, national monument or other. With your sincere efforts to pique his interest.
Think ahead as you attend the ceremony where she will receive her doctorate. in this field. Then you won’t have to worry about rolling your eyes, but shedding a tear of pride.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: We, as close friends, have two families in which the husbands – previously powerful, in highly respected jobs – have become disabled due to dementia.
Both wives explained that they had become their husbands’ caretakers. You can imagine the tragedy; we are devastated.
My wife and I care deeply about both families, but we don’t know how to communicate with them now, or even if we should.
If we attempt to contact, we may appear to impose and demand a response. If we don’t do this, we risk appearing indifferent. Can you suggest the right way forward?
GENTLE READER: Pay them social visits. Look for ways to take the pressure off women: running errands, bringing treats, staying with the husband so the wife can go out.
But you wonder if you should even communicate with these close friends. Miss Manners would have thought that the very concept of friendship meant not abandoning them because of their problems.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to his email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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