“Below Deck” Season 11, Episode 17 Recap

The season finale picks up where we left off last week, with Kerry calling out Ben and Kyle for their messy room during cabin inspections. Ben is the boatswain, which makes this extra unacceptable. Kyle says they just never got around to it, but Kerry has no excuse because he saw Kyle talking to Barbie. The two men clean up late to get Kerry’s approval, and Kerry points out that it only took five or ten minutes and wasn’t difficult to do. Now I feel guilty for not cleaning my own room.

Tonight it’s Beyoncé’s theme for Michele’s 50th birthday, so Fraser wants the whole team to dance (not to brag, I predicted this two weeks ago). He choreographs a routine, but it seems to be just walking and krumping when they rehearse. Xandi apologizes in advance to Beyoncé. It’s hard to tell how good or bad the performance is with royalty-free music being traded around, but the guests enjoy the energy. These ladies really nailed Beyoncé’s costumes, and Nick’s strawberry birthday cake seems like a nice reward.

The Home Team briefly argues about the schedule because Barbie wants to get a full eight hours of sleep tonight. Xandi says she never got eight hours and that Barbie shouldn’t get special treatment. Barbie is also upset (literally) because she had to take toilet paper out of the toilet and pee fell on her. At the time, I thought it was a meaningless conflict, but little did I know that it all contributed to the powder keg that is Barbie.

The next morning is our last day of rental. Sunny is proud of herself and her first time as a senior deckhand. Ben apologizes to Kerry for the cabin inspections. Kerry appreciates the apology but is still disappointed. He believes that if someone can’t follow easy orders, he can’t be trusted to follow difficult orders. Kerry hopes this is a learning experience for Ben. These cracks do not appear during their last docking, which they say is the best of the six-week season. Six weeks is nothing! Teenagers go to summer camp for longer. They also make it their whole personality of the year, but they’re teenagers. As adults, this season is a blip on the cast’s resume.

Kerry tells the crew that they exceeded his expectations, so I have to assume he had low expectations. The guests leave, prompting Kyle and Ben to immediately start drinking. Kyle helps turn the boat around with a beer in hand. At the board meeting, Kerry says he hasn’t seen a team work so well together, and now I wonder if he’s being sarcastic. That’s a solid $20,000 tip, bringing the season’s total to $208,750. Dylan is motivated to invest in more protein and pre-workout.

Before going out for the night, Kyle video chats with her mother and excitedly tells her that she might meet Barbie soon. He thinks he’s in love. Her mother says she is welcome. These unsuspecting souls don’t realize they are in the first act of a horror film.

The crew goes to dinner at the waterfall, which you may remember from the wedding vow renewal in episode four. It’s like years ago when, if you can believe it, Barbie loved Jared. Now the location appears to be a restaurant and she is monitoring Kyle’s drinking. Barbie tries to replace her Long Island order with water. I agree that you should be cut if you order a Long Island. They haven’t even eaten yet, and Kyle’s ready to jump into the waterfall. As expected, Barbie doesn’t want that. He begins to pull down his pants, but the others stop him before he can fool the unsuspecting diners. Ben and Sunny walk away from the group and Ben asks to take her on a date to Miami. She agrees because she is a hopeless romantic. “Hopeless romantic” certainly sounds a lot gentler than “ignore all warning signs.”

After all the hype, Ben, Dylan and Kyle go swimming in the waterfall. Ben shouts, “Get your willy out!” ” in case anyone isn’t sure he’s naked. Can everyone in this restaurant see and hear them? Or is it rented for show? Anyway, Barbie is pissed again, figuratively this time.

In the car between dinner and a bar, Kyle, drunk, begins to fall asleep, but is revived by a few shots once they arrive. Barbie tells him she’s angry: “What am I asking you so hard then to cover your huge cock?!” She falls in love with him and he loves her too. He’s sorry for being an idiot. They kiss, restoring a fragile peace. The powder keg is about to explode.

In the car heading back to the boat, everyone is having a good time until Xandi says she would have fired Barbie if she was head stew. It’s basically about the assassination of Archduke Francis Ferdinand, or in this case, the character Barbie. Historians will interpret Xandi’s comment as the perfect excuse for Barbie to declare war. Barbie says that everything inside was against her, and that she only managed to get through it because Kerry believed in her. Xandi clarifies that she was happy that Barbie was successful and changed her attitude. They’re quiet for a moment, but then the whole car turns into a shouting match. Xandi starts crying, Paris yells at Barbie to shut up, Fraser and Dylan try to comfort Xandi, and Kyle tells Barbie to relax, which makes Barbie even more upset. Both Xandi and Barbie want to get out of the car. Remember when, just a few hours ago, Kerry was saying they all got along great? In a hilarious cut to the other car, Ben and Sunny are kissing in the backseat while poor Nick sits silently enjoying their smooches. At least turn on royalty-free music.

Back on the boat, Barbie locks her cabin door so Kyle can’t get in. She’s angry that he didn’t defend her more. She’s fed up with everyone, especially him, and tells him to go fuck himself. Barbie yells that she’s quitting, which I don’t think is technically possible when the job is already done. She packs her bags, drunkenly planning to go to a five-star resort. She complains, “No one here cares about me,” as Nick carries her bags, which is unintentionally quite funny. I’m shocked that his outburst wasn’t an empty threat; in fact, she leaves in the night. Barbie walks past Kyle on the platform without saying goodbye. Brutal.

The next and final morning is rough as a badger’s ass, to borrow Kyle’s expression. Nick wakes up after snoring in the crew’s mess. I hope he gets it checked by an ENT specialist. Paris and Xandi eat chips in bed. Xandi wishes things weren’t like this with Barbie, but “a drunken mouth speaks a sober truth.” Kyle tells Ben he got a message from Barbie last night to change his flight – she never wants to see him again. He puts on a brave face, but he is drained. He thinks he felt more than her. In less than six weeks, Barbie took him on the steepest, craziest emotional roller coaster he had ever experienced.

Scheduled departures and farewells begin with mid-season replacements. Kerry would work with Dylan again and sees his potential. Paris leaves after Dylan and says she will especially miss Xandi. Nick says goodbye, having only completed three charters, but he is as tired as if he had worked all season.

Ben explains to Kerry that Barbie left last night. Kerry phones Barbie, who says she just finished and isn’t particularly nice to her (now former) boss. She didn’t feel supported and Kerry admits she never really fit in. Fraser also didn’t realize Barbie was gone until morning, but she’s less diplomatic about it. He thinks she hasn’t changed at all and is real now that the job is done. Barbie gives us one last complaint: she doesn’t like the hotel she’s in and is trying to move to a nicer villa.

Shortly after, Xandi leaves: “Witch.” Kyle then says his goodbyes. He may have lost the girl, but he still loved his job and his team. Ben then checks in with Kerry, feeling like the deck crew was a success. Kerry tells us he doubts he’ll put Ben back as boatswain. Ben may not have earned his boss’s respect, but he still won the girl…temporarily. Sunny knows it’s uncertain and will protect her heart in the future. The two leave together, hand in hand.

Fraser is the last to leave. Kerry is really impressed with how Fraser has grown and changed things. Is this accurate, or did the season conveniently end before anything went wrong? Normally Kerry’s readings are perfect, but he didn’t participate in this episode. Fraser says he’s lucky to have had Kerry and is grateful to the captain for rerouting him. He prefers to learn from his mistakes rather than regret what he has done. For the record, these are not mutually exclusive options. Kerry’s voiceover closes the season: “We’ve had some epic highs, and there have been some lows (from high school football), but I’d rather forget them.” But that’s yachting, and I’m grateful for it all. Oy, it was quite an adventure. It was such a pleasure to recap for you all.

• Xandi has nine days off in Miami before returning to her other job in yachting. She starts thinking about life on earth because she wants to find love and have babies. Xandi leaves with four bags, which seems enough for the moment.

• Paris plans to return to work the day after their return. She runs a house and works on a boat once a week.

• Barbie is going to spend a month at her parents’ house doing nothing. She’ll tell her dad about Kyle…later.

• Dylan got a new job as captain of the hunting boat. A chase boat is similar to a tender, but it’s more fun to imagine driving a boat for bad guys in a James Bond-style chase.

• Nick “isn’t going to leave the couch for a while.” Same, Nick, same.