“Be Picky”: How to Start Therapy | Well actually

A many people feel bad. One in five American adults experienced symptoms of anxiety and depression in 2023, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). In the UK, 40.5% of people with anxiety had ‘medium’ or ‘high’ levels in 2022 and 16% of adults had moderate to severe depressive symptoms.

For many, psychotherapy is an effective way to address a range of concerns – from diagnosed mental illnesses to a general feeling of dissatisfaction or inertia.

“People tend to seek therapy when they feel stuck in an area of ​​their life, which prevents them from living a life that feels full and meaningful to them,” says Dr. Elisabeth Morray, vice president of clinical operations of the member-based association. Alma mental health directory and insurance billing platform.

But starting therapy can also seem intimidating. How can we afford it? How to find the right therapist? What can we expect from the treatment? We asked the experts.

Think about the type of therapist you would like to work with

Starting therapy can seem difficult. “You find yourself in a situation where you’re sharing very vulnerable and intimate details about yourself with someone who, at least initially, is a complete stranger,” says Morray.

Given this, think about what qualities you would like your therapist to have that might make you feel more comfortable. Do you want them to be a certain gender or age, or from a similar cultural background to yours? Is it important to you to see someone in person or are you comfortable with telehealth? Do they have experience in the area you hope to address, like relationships, sleep, or body image? These questions can help you narrow down your search.

Do some research

There are several ways to find therapists in your area.

“It’s good for Google!” says Dr. Marnie Shanbhag, senior director of the American Psychological Association’s Office of Independent Practice. She suggests searching for something like “psychotherapist near me” — psychotherapist is a more specific term than just “therapist,” which could also encompass, say, physical therapists, she explains. Many therapists have websites or biographies in which they describe their experience and approach to therapy. Check if any meet the identity and experience criteria you defined previously.

Experts also recommend searching websites that offer provider directories, like Psychology Today.

If you can’t find many therapists in your immediate area, look for therapists licensed in your state and offering telehealth services.

“For someone living in rural Tennessee, there may not be many therapists in their area, but they might find one in Memphis or Knoxville,” says Matt Lundquist, founder and clinical director. of Tribeca Therapy in Manhattan.

If you’re comfortable letting people know you’re looking for a therapist, use your social network. Asking trusted friends if they know any good therapists is “an opportunity to find someone who’s been vetted,” says Lundquist.

Even if you don’t want to see a friend’s therapist, Lundquist says, they may be able to recommend another practitioner “who works the same way as them or who might be a good fit.”

Consider the cost

One of the biggest obstacles most people face when it comes to therapy is cost. In the United States, most clinicians charge between $100 and $200 per session, and sometimes much more in larger cities.

In the UK, free talking therapy is available through the NHS, but waiting times can be long and some may choose to supplement their treatment with private therapy. The national average is estimated at between £50 and £80 per session.

Since many therapists recommend clients come in once a week or every other week, the costs add up quickly.

Before you start looking for a provider, consider how you plan to pay for your therapy, as this will determine which providers are available to you.

Pay with insurance – in the United States:

“The first challenge for most people is finding a therapist who is in-network and takes their insurance,” Morray says.

This can be tricky, as navigating insurance can be a headache for patients and providers.

“A lot of therapists, especially in big cities, just don’t take insurance,” Lundquist says. Insurance coverage for mental health care can be complicated and prohibitive, he explains. Many companies “want to set limits on the number of sessions, and therapists end up chasing it for reimbursement,” he says.

One way to find in-network therapists is to ask your insurance company for a list of providers in your area.

If you want to see an out-of-network therapist, some insurance plans allow you to submit a reimbursement request after you have already paid for a session. But first check with your insurance company to make sure this is available with your plan.

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Pay out of pocket – in the United States:

Some may be able to pay for a therapist out of pocket, in which case they should simply choose the provider who seems best suited to them. For those who do not have insurance or do not wish to use their insurance for privacy reasons and cannot afford the regular fees of private therapists, there are options.

“Local universities are a great place to look,” says Shanbhag.

Many universities with graduate programs in psychology offer sessions with doctoral students at a discounted rate. “They are very experienced in their training and are supervised every step of the way,” says Shanbhag. “This can be a great way to get affordable care.”

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Experts also suggest contacting local hospital systems, community health clinics or mental health agencies that may offer low-cost or sliding-scale mental health care, or be able to refer you to providers who do. propose.

And if you find a therapist you’re very interested in working with, but can’t afford their fees, Morray suggests sending them an email. “Explain to them your financial constraints and see if they are willing to work out a sliding scale, or even pro bono services,” she says. “Most people wouldn’t think to ask.”

Arrange a consultation

Once you have identified therapists who seem like a good fit, ask them if they are available for a consultation. Some therapists offer free 15-minute telephone consultations. Others offer paid full-session consultations. If possible, experts recommend doing a full session to see how a person functions.

During the consultation, pay attention to how you feel, says Shanbhag. She suggests asking yourself, “Do they seem to be paying attention to me?” Do they seem interested in who I am as a person? Are they asking me relevant questions?

It may take a few sessions to decide if a therapist is a good match. “In two or three sessions, you can get a good sense of whether this is someone who makes you feel heard, makes you feel seen, and offers you a sense of presence and attention.”

Find the right solution

When looking for a therapist, Lundquist says it’s important to be “picky.”

“It’s a very important relationship,” he says. “It’s important to get it right.”

Don’t feel bad for telling a provider they’re not a good fit for you. “A lot of times, clients are afraid of hurting us and don’t talk about it,” says Shanbhag. If a therapist takes it personally, they’re probably not the right person anyway.

If you try therapists who aren’t right for you, don’t give up. “Finding the perfect fit can take some time, and that’s part of the process,” says Shanbhag. “That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.”

Morray says she views finding a therapist as a bit like dating: “Finding the person you want to be by your side is important, and you’re probably not going to end up in a long-term relationship with the first person you date. .”