Are you having trouble achieving your goals? Try working with an ‘accountability group’: NPR

Over the past year, NPR graphics reporter Daniel Wood — a busy father of three — said he was able to maintain “a workout cadence that I’ve never had before.”

The secret to his good exercise regime? He has an accountability group.

Wood and a few fathers in his Cheverly, Maryland, neighborhood wake up before their morning childcare duties to drink coffee and lift weights in one of the fathers’ garages.

“Through a combination of good encouragement and friendly rivalry, we hold each other accountable for being there,” Wood says.

Friends or accountability groups can be powerful and effective in helping you accomplish tasks and reach your goals, says Ayelet Fishbachprofessor of behavioral science and marketing at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business.

Why Accountability Buddies Work

We are social animals, says Fishbach. “We know that people work in groups. People have worked in groups since the dawn of time.”

Research has shown that people accomplish more when they are in teams. A 2015 study published in JAMA Internal Medicine found that couples were more likely to adopt healthy behavior changes, such as exercising more or reducing their tobacco use, if their partner also adopted healthy changes.

So if you’re struggling to check off boxes on your to-do list or reach your goals, you might benefit from help from a friend or accountability group. Here’s what you need to know.

What types of goals should I set with my accountability partner?

Before you go looking for a friend, think about a project you need help with. Maybe you want to find a new job, start that business or learn to paint, maybe you want to cook more or do the exercises your physical therapist gave you.

Your partner should also have their own goals. The relationship must be mutually beneficial. Here are some ways to work together.

Working towards a common goal: Leah Shaffer, who lives outside of Houston, works with an accountability friend to focus on her creative writing goals.

She and her boyfriend, who is also a writer with his own writing goals, have met every Friday for over a year on Zoom.

Before meeting her boyfriend, she may have written a draft of her vampire novel. But this year, she rewrote it three times and wrote two more books, she said. “I don’t think I would have done the job without my boyfriend.”

Apply healthy habits: Francisco Ramirez, who lives in New York, teamed up with an accountability partner to accomplish daily tasks: taking walks, preparing healthy meals, and getting out of bed on time.

Every Sunday at 10 a.m., he and his partner meet online. They tell each other what they have accomplished, review the challenges they have faced, and offer each other encouragement and support.

Where can I find an accountability partner?

The person should have a shared desire to achieve their own goals and be willing to “monitor you and track your progress,” Fishbach says.

They should also be able to come together coherently. “The most helpful friends are the ones who will show up,” says Ramirez.

You don’t know where to find a good partner? Here are some places to look.

Your social network: Wood connected with his training group when someone at a Christmas party invited him. If you already have a friend who you think might be a good fit, ask them.

Your community: Your partner doesn’t have to be someone you already know. Find out about an existing group that matches your interests. “In a sense, a book club is an accountability group” because it helps you stay engaged in reading, says Cynthia Pong, founder and CEO of career coaching company Embrace Change.

Applications and online platforms: Ramírez uses Concentrate to stay focused on the task. The website matches you with a stranger to collaborate over video for 25, 50, or 75 minute sessions..

He’s attended more than 6,000 of these sessions to do “anything: make contracts, write invoices, write my book, study French, write thank-you notes, whatever,” he says .

The training app Strava can help you stick to your exercise goals by allowing you to share your workout stats with your followers on the platform. Maybe seeing your sister post and go on a long bike ride will motivate you to get out for that planned run.

How should I structure my accountability meetings?

“There’s really no one-size-fits-all recipe,” Fishbach says. It’s up to you and your partner to decide how often to meet, where to meet, and what to talk about.

Ramirez and his partner update a spreadsheet to track their progress. It includes questions such as: “How did I do it?” What worked? What went wrong?

Shaffer and her friend create monthly, quarterly and yearly goals in addition to their weekly goals.

If you don’t achieve all your goals, let it go. But if you’re not seeing any progress, or if you and your partner keep canceling your accountability appointments, then Pong says it’s time to check in.

Maybe your boyfriend will say, “You know, actually, I’m not as interested as I thought. Let’s try again in six months. Or maybe the time of your Zoom meeting isn’t convenient for you both.

Whatever the reason, see how you can adjust the partnership. Maybe you do your check-ins via text message. Or maybe you move up your appointment time, Pong says.

Continue to stick with your friend or group and you may discover an unexpected motivation: friendship.

Wood says ultimately the social aspect is what gets him to show up and exercise at 5:45 a.m.

Not only does he have a more consistent workout routine, he says, but he has a new group of best friends.

The digital story was edited by Malaka Gharib. The visual editor is Beck Harlan. We would love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823 or email us at LifeKit@npr.org.

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