Dear Miss Manners: My neighbors have several rallies a year, and they are still meals-sharing.
If the invitation says: “Bring a dish to share and a bottle of wine”, then I am happy to do it.
However, I am single and I noticed that couples and families also bring only one dish and a bottle of wine.
Am I mean to think it’s unfair?
Mild player: The label is not in the field of exactly all. Unless things are openly unfair, it is more polite not to notice it.
Since the point of the potluck is to share, it feels improper to count the exact parts. (Maybe families do not eat or drink much.)
Miss Manners therefore suggests that you neglect this injustice and save your embarrassment for all other ways that singles are disadvantaged, embarrassed and more loaded in our society.
Dear Miss Manners: Sometimes I am served something that I don’t want to eat, like meat with fat or fat. I cut my portion and move the trash on the side of my plate – discreetly, I hope.
Once, however, I was served pea which had coarse strings that had not been deleted. So I removed them before eating everyone.
Leave a bunch of offensive debris to hosts or other guests? Does this imply that the cook was sloppy?
Mild player: Perhaps, but it is best to slowly choke on pea strings.
Dear Miss Manners: I was taught by my mother and grandmother, who practiced what they preached, that the letters of condolence must be recognized.
Their practice was to respond to each letter of condolences with a letter of return. It could be long or short, but at the very least, he should express his gratitude for the reflection of the sender.
I followed their practice during the decades, and I found that the writing of letters of recognition was very useful to me because I made the sorrow to lose important friends or family members.
In recent years, however, I have not received any recognition for letters of condolence that I have sent. I make a point of writing something thoughtful, including a memory of the deceased and a declaration of my appreciation of him. I would never send a condolence card pre -printed and bought in store.
Do I just have to face the fact that most people no longer write recognition? I would like to tell them that it could help them in their mourning process.
It is also a thoughtful gesture to recognize reflected gestures, right?
Mild player: Yes, but Miss Manners does not recommend that you tell them that. In addition to being a warning, that will not help your cause if they do not agree.
But if that makes you feel better, you are right. The letters of condolence must be recognized, ensuring those who care that their appreciation of the deceased and the sympathy for the bereaved people were significant.
This can also offer comfort by recognizing the importance of lost life.
Or not. But it’s always the right thing to do.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners on her website, www.missmanners.com; To his e-mail, gentlerader@missmanners.com; or by post to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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