Dear Miss Manners: I work as a bailiff in a popular campaign house that hosts a large number of sporting and entertainment events (concerts, comedies, etc.). One of the rules is that we are not allowed to accept advice.
On occasion, a guest will offer a tip, generally for something I have done beyond simply helping them find their headquarters. In these cases, I thank them politely for their kindness, but I let them know that it is against the policy of the place.
Most of the time, it is enough, but on occasion, a boss insists that I take the money, commenting frequently that “no one will know”.
I don’t know what to say when they continue to push. I certainly do not wish to be rude (and I sincerely appreciate their generosity), but I also do not want to violate the rules and accept the money.
What do you recommend that I say to people who demand that I accept a tip?
Mild player: Without a doubt, these people think they give you kindness to advise you to slyly challenge your employer. And it is unlikely that they imagine a reason to refuse money other than the fear of being caught.
As Miss Manners observed, the tilting system brings out everyone’s worst. Well, not everyone; Not you.
The answer to “no one will know” should be a unfortunate little smile and the comment, “but I would know”.
Dear Miss Manners: Would it be acceptable to include a PS on an invitation which indicates that “the lack of response will be considered as a” no, cannot attend “and the plans will be finalized accordingly”?
I am simply tired of the irresponsibility of many guests.
Mild player: Probably not as tired as Miss Manners does not emphasize how rude it is to ignore the offers of hospitality.
Nevertheless, she does not care about threats and reminders tend to be ignored. What about sending those who have not answered the message “Sorry, we will not see you on the 10th?”
Dear Miss Manners: My beloved and I plan a little intimate marriage.
Rather than hiring a printer, I plan to write letters to each guest, sharing the details of the celebration and asking them to attend.
My mother fears that the absence of an official printed invitation will be considered a violation of the label. Would you like to advise us?
Mild player: Back whenever the engraving was invented, it would have been considered a violation of the label to use it instead of handwriting. And Miss Manners assures you that the hand always upgrades the mechanical process, regardless of the price.
As this is an intimate marriage, you do not need to imitate the formal label and in the third person, but, if you prefer, simply write letters in the first person indicating your wish to assist them.
Dear Miss Manners: What is your opinion on the parties to sprinkle?
Soft reader: While she appreciates the rise in the usual shower, Miss Manners finds the name unfortunately lively in connection with the babies.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners on her website, www.missmanners.com; To his e-mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by post to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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