Okay, we need to talk about Nick Castellanos. He can’t keep getting away with this.
You’ve probably seen the memes before. You’ve probably heard the expression “I’m proud of myself and I consider myself a man of faith. If Castellanos hits it to left field, it’ll be a home run. And that’ll make the game 4-0. I don’t know if I’ll put that helmet back on…”
But this goes beyond a joke based on a coincidence or two. The man has a gift. And that gift is turning Major League Baseball games into a scene from “Curb Your Enthusiasm.”
It all started on August 19, 2020. Cincinnati Reds announcer Thom Brennaman had just been caught uttering a homophobic slur. When the broadcast resumed, he uttered the now-legendary line as an awkward remark before leaving the broadcast booth with his career in ruins. It was the kind of surreal moment that was destined to go viral, and it did.
My friends, this was just the beginning.
July 5, 2021: In the same stadium as Brennaman’s apology, the Kansas City Royals took a moment to honor the passing of George A. Gorman, the father of a Royals clubhouse member. They did so coming out of a break, thinking they would have time to get through the somber moment before the game started. Instead, as Castellanos circled the bases, we were treated to this: “There is never a good time to eulogize someone during the broadcast, so we apologize for the timing…”
July 31, 2021: It was too early for us to realize it at the time, but Frontier League announcer Kyle Dawson discovered that Castellanos didn’t even need to be in the stadium; just calling his name was enough to ruin a serious moment. Dawson was speaking from the heart about his Uncle Charlie, who had just passed away, and when Tri-City designated hitter Grant Heyman stepped up to the plate, Dawson felt the spirit stir.I’m just gonna give you the visuals and hopefully we don’t get screwed by Nick Castellanos and someone hits a home run to tie the game now,” he said.
Thanks for now, Uncle Charlie. I love you. pic.twitter.com/yfRiPHMao6
— Kyle Dawson (@RealKyleDawson) August 1, 2021
“… of course. My God.”
May 30, 2022: As the Philadelphia Phillies honored fallen service members as part of their Memorial Day broadcast, Castellanos once again interrupted the game with a home run. That is literally the order in which those words were spoken. on the show:«… in tribute to those who made the ultimate sacrifice. Castellanos rips one into deep left field, here we go!“
September 8, 2022: By this point, the meme had gained momentum to the point that fake Nick Castellanos home runs began to surface. This one, suggesting that he hit a home run during the broadcast’s moment of silence before the game for Queen Elizabeth II, was convincingly edited, but alas: Castellanos was on the injured list and didn’t play from September 3 to 26. People were caught out, though. When a guy does something enough times, why doubt he’s done it again?
October 11, 2023: At this point, the broadcasters must have known: If there’s going to be a serious discussion or tribute to be made, they’ll just have to wait until Castellanos’ at-bat is over to talk about it. Right? Apparently not, because shortly after former Phillies manager Charlie Manuel suffered a stroke, TBS broadcaster Brian Anderson was tasked with letting the audience know that Manuel was recovering well. But he made the mistake of doing so during a Castellanos at-bat. The show — featuring video of Manuel hitting tennis balls with his left hand in the hospital — couldn’t even get back to live action in time. to see the pitch pronouncedbut they caught up. Of course, it was a home run.
We’ll get back to home runs in a moment, but let’s take a moment to acknowledge that there’s a non-home run part to this phenomenon as well:
• March 27, 2022: was chosen as the Toronto Blue Jays broadcast discussed a drunken driving incident during spring training by Toronto pitching coach Pete Walker.
• June 6, 2023: dubbed as the show was about ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease)
Seriously, announcers. Wait a minute. The pitch clock hasn’t shortened games to the point where you have to rush the somber announcement. Teams even do you a favor by telling you the batting order, so you can choose to do it when someone else is at bat. Let me suggest the other team’s number 9 hitter!
But here’s the thing about legends: Once they’re established, confirmation bias is enough to keep them alive. Consider that if any of these three events from this year had happened on their own, they wouldn’t even be considered coincidences. But when we get to the point—and we’ve been there for a while now—where any major news story triggers a compulsion to check the Phillies scoreboard, these otherwise inconsequential events become just more evidence that Castellanos is going to keep doing this, forever and ever.
June 18, 2024: Willie Mays dies. Less than an hour after the news is announced, Castellanos hits a double.
July 13, 2024: An assassination attempt was launched against former President Donald Trump. Castellanos had already hit a home run that day and, in his next at-bat, he hit a double off the wall.
Sunday: President Joe Biden announces he is dropping out of the presidential race. The news comes on the same day that Thom Brennaman, the man who started it all, gets his first radio job since that fateful day in 2020.
Do you want to guess what Castellanos did?
In “deep left field,” no less.
He can’t go on like this, can he?
It may be too late. In fact, that may be exactly what Nick Castellanos has always His first professional minor league home run — and I promise I’m not making this up — came on May 1, 2011.
(Photo of Nick Castellanos hitting a home run in the ninth inning against the Pittsburgh Pirates on Sunday: Charles LeClaire/USA Today)
