A grieving human could look over the rainbow – The Denver Post
| Breaking News Updates | Google News
Dear Amy: I am devastated by the grief of losing my beloved dog to cancer five weeks ago. He was only five years old.
I have good counselors, supportive friends and family, and a loving husband, but I struggle a lot with depression and grief.
I’m almost 40, but I’ve never lost someone close before, and this was my first pet.
I loved this dog with all my heart and I can’t accept how much this sweet and innocent dog must have suffered, and how much emptier our life and home feels without him.
I know we gave our dog a wonderful life and did everything we could for him, and I know so many other people have gone through this loss as well, but I am still swimming in grief and in so much pain. that I haven’t given much attention to my relationship with my husband or nurtured him during this time (although I manage to be functional with work and other activities).
My husband is also in mourning, but not visibly like me, and he often has the role of consoling me.
One of his wonderful qualities is that he is patient; at the same time, he doesn’t feel safe in our relationship because he feels like I’m not completely there.
I can’t get out of my grief.
Am I just giving myself time for this grief to take its course, or is there a way to course-correct and not make my husband feel ignored and invisible during this time?
— Sad Pet Mom
Dear Sad: Losing a pet is a loss like no other, because we love and care for our animal companions differently from the humans in our lives.
Caring for an animal, especially during a long illness, is truly the essence of selfless and tender care.
Now is the time to apply some of that tenderness to yourself and your husband.
While researching your question, I came across a number of Facebook groups dedicated to pet loss. (Do an internet search for “mourning pet”.)
Once you have joined a group. you can post a picture of your beloved dog and write about your experience. Humans who participate in these online groups tend to be extremely kind and supportive. And by perusing the many posts, you’ll know you’re not alone.
Although I’ve never necessarily subscribed to the comfort offered by the “rainbow bridge” concept, on one of these Facebook pages I saw a collage of photos of the late Betty White, a great lover of animals (and wonderful human in every way), posing with her many canine companions over the years.
Knowing that over her very long life she had experienced this tender love and loss time and time again was truly inspiring, and I found myself hoping that her dozens of pets were waiting for her on the other side of this mythical rainbow bridge.
I hope you find similar comfort as you process your own grief.
Dear Amy: I have a step-parent who has been deaf since childhood.
A few years ago, I learned that this person reads lips.
My problem is that they eavesdrop on private conversations by reading your lips. The masks many of us are wearing have helped to curb this, but with the return to (hopefully) normalcy, I will have to cover my mouth again when we are with these in-laws.
It’s a little rude to do this, but if I have something to share with my husband, there’s really nothing else to do.
Do you have a better solution?
— Unmasking
Dear Unmasked: I have a solution for you!
My solution is quite simple: don’t try to have a personal, private and exclusive conversation with your husband in front of other people. Never.
That’s just rude!
Keep your thoughts private for when you have privacy.
When your brother-in-law is with you, you should include this person in your conversation.
Dear Amy: Thanks for dissuading a recent “Proud Dad” from commenting on his daughter’s body.
When I was a teenager with a “rugged” body type, my dad (with no ill intent) often remarked that I was “made for comfort, not speed.”
I am now 74 years old and this remark is still with me.
To all fathers of teenage girls, please spare those “mild teasing” remarks.
— Try to grow gracefully
Dear Try: Your story perfectly illustrates the point. Thank you.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
Subscribe to our weekly newsletter, In The Know, to receive entertainment news straight to your inbox.
A grieving human could look over the rainbow – The Denver Post
| Latest News Headlines Fox news
denverpost