Dear Abby: My friend “Julie” has faced challenges in recent months. She lost her job and her boyfriend in the long term ended their relationship.
Her situation is complicated by the fact that the ex has a dog that Julie has known since it was a puppy. Despite the emotional and mental violence he inflicted on her, she is ready to visit him to see the dog.
My husband and I, as well as his family, expressed our concerns that he manipulates Julie by taking advantage of his affection for the dog. I advised her to break the ties and move on, because I believe that this arrangement prevents her from going ahead.
Recently, Julie shared that her ex planned to move and take the dog with him, which added to her sorrow. She is often in tears on this situation, and I don’t know how to support her.
Do you have any suggestions?
– Frustrated friend in California
Dear friend: Julie always cry the loss of her abusive relationship with her boyfriend. As you said, visits with the dog (and he) only prolonged his sorrow.
Continue to emotionally support your friend as you have done and jump the conferences on what is manipulative. She already knows. Then, pray that it moves away soon, so that the tie can finally be cut, and it can start to heal.
Dear Abby: I am at the start of the forties and I have been working hard since the mid -twenty.
I have a beautiful house that my wife and I try to pay and two children. We live quite comfortably, but in no case are we easy.
My father is very good and he finances my older brother to live abroad. My younger sister, who always lives at home with him, has all the money she needs or wants.
I am more and more felt by this situation. My two brothers and sisters, neither work, obtain free daddy’s journeys.
My father likes to remind me of how much money he has and how successful he is. So why doesn’t he help me reimburse my mortgage so that my family and I can live a more comfortable life? This is the question that harasses me, but I don’t know if I have to ask my father or not.
Do you have any advice on the direction I should take and what I can do so as not to feel so much resentment?
– one of the three in Canada
Dear: It may be time to step back and see this situation under a different perspective.
You seem to think that your father is a service to your sister and your brother by subsidizing their lifestyles. From where I sit, he seems to have spent years more than promoting their dependence on him rather than helping them to become independent adults. Have you ever come to mind that of the three brothers and sisters, are you the only one to be fully functional?
Your father may have the impression that you can reimburse your comfortable mortgage by yourself. Stop smoking and make an honest conversation with him.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby on www.dearabby.com or Po Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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