When I learned that I was going to be a Father, many went through the mind. First, there was excitement and happiness. We were not trying to have a baby, but we were not trying not to do it either. Then came fear and even doubt.
My wife told me one day that we raised an adult, not a child and that we would not always be there for him.
Thus, from an early age, we raised our son to be his own person, to think for himself and make decisions. We taught him critical thinking, time management and choosing with money. He didn’t like team sports, so he chose Taekwondo. He learned discipline and provided him with a personal challenge, which was in accordance with his personality.
He now has a girl
He has grown now. After graduating from a MAGNET secondary school technology program, he joined the army, received a ROTC scholarship and was ordered as an officer. He is now director of construction, married, bought his first house and is the father of a little girl.
My son’s work is just a 10 -minute trip. He sometimes has the flexibility to go home for lunch or work at home. When he goes home, Jena runs to the door and calls her dad. No matter how long he worked or how tired he is, he takes care of it and says with enthusiasm: “Hello, beautiful.”
From my point of view, we have a lot to be proud. But there are some who would say that I failed as a father. Whether I have not raised my son to be a “man” because I did not play him football or because I intervened when there were scout problems with intimidators. In fact, a scoutmaster told me that “boys will be boys”, believing that the fights would make men in a way.
Many in society will often despise men who do not hold their male ideals. A television host recently criticized a husband for grocery store with his wife. Some firmly believe in having only traditional gender roles. Where men are providers and women caregivers.
I gave the example that the family came first
At the birth of my son, I decided that my family would come first. This meant to prioritize family time, be at home for dinner, school events, activities after school and weekends and holidays.
There were times when I made career choices that were not the best for me but which were the best for my family. This meant to take jobs that were not the highest but stable salary, a short trip and prevented us from having to continue a career. It turns out that I directed the example.
Like me, my son prioritizes family time, will shop with them and push the strollers. He goes on vacation, camping and picnics in the park. He parents his daughter when his wife goes to yoga. And even went to work with nail polish after Jena decided to give her a manicure.
Perhaps being a man means more than being physically hard and emotionally vacant. Perhaps being masculine can mean making difficult choices and not being defined by others.
The other evening, my wife and I were with our son; It was almost dinner time. A car fell back into the aisle. Our granddaughter, now 3 years old, crossed the kitchen, opened the door and shouted: “Dad!” From the outside, we heard a man Say: “Hello, beautiful.”
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