Dear Miss Manners: I would be very grateful if you could provide advice on how to graciously manage two common problems with emails.
1. The answer: “I never check this account.”
What do we do when our correspondence goes in a black hole? A number of people said that the message I sent had gone to an account they never checked. But they do not offer a more recent or better address.
2. Social correspondents writing from their work accounts.
I was shocked by friends who will read my email, who was sent to their personal accounts, then will answer their work address. This includes a lawyer, who will respond to social messages and even chatter of his work account.
Sweet guests of me to change account seem to fall into the ears of a deaf.
Mild player: To respond to your concerns in order:
1. “Oh! This is the last email address you gave me. Is there a better to use?”
2. “You are not worrying that your work has access to your personal emails? Maybe I am paranoid, but I don’t put anything that I would not want to use against myself-even less on the business account.”
The effectiveness of one or the other, Miss Manners cannot promise. But if you suspect that friends who claim to be “simply not good in correspondence” deliberately use lure accounts when they refuse to follow up with a better option, it may not be friends you think you were.
Dear Miss Manners: We have two single nieces, in their thirties and who live together in a small house that one of them has.
They will often announce to the family members that they plan a special party, then sit down and wait for a parent with a larger house to offer to organize the party for them. This pours all responsibilities, time and costs on the new host.
How can we stop this manipulation?
Mild player: By not taking bait.
Miss Manners suggests that you and the rest of the family will train you saying: “It seems charming. What time should we be there? “
Dear Miss Manners: My husband and I are in the early 1960s and are both retired. We are always healthy, so we want to travel while we can.
Whenever my husband suggested places to go, I have accompanied it, even if these destinations may not be my preference.
However, when I suggest places I want to go, my husband does not show much enthusiasm, even if I would do all the planning and everything he would have to do is package and leave. He generally says that he will think about it, and that’s it. No rejection, but he doesn’t say yes either.
We were given a good deal for a cruise that I really wanted to continue. But he still acted in the same way – saying that he would think about it, then gave me no answer before the expiration of the promotion.
I arrive to the point where I just want to go ahead and book everything before saying yes or no. I thought of finding another travel partner, but most of my friends are still working or don’t like to travel.
Advice?
Mild player: That you take the absence of rejection as validation and reserve the tickets.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners on her website, www.missmanners.com; To his e-mail, gentlerader@missmanners.com; or by post to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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