6 tips for controlling your anger

Life is maddening and learning to keep your cool when you’d rather lash out is one of its great lessons.

Known as the “Anger Professor,” Ryan Martin, author of “Why We Go Mad: How to Use Your Anger for Positive Change” notes that rage ruins our internal flight-or-fight system: “Your muscles tense up.” , your heart rate increases, you breathe faster, your digestive system slows down or shuts down,” effects that can lead to stomach problems, neck and back pain, and severe headaches.

Martin also highlights the harmful effects of the behaviors people adopt to deal with their anger. “We often see people who experience a lot of anger tend to drink more, use other drugs more, and drive dangerously… They speed more, change lanes inconsistently (and are) more likely to run red lights .”

Not surprisingly, Martin reports the negative impact of anger on personal relationships, as uncontrolled aggression can result in emotional distance and all manner of fighting; verbally, physically or online.

Indeed, anger is hell on your relationships and hard on your heart.

A new study published in JAMA found that an eight-minute episode of anger negatively affects blood vessel function… In an interview with Yahoo Life, lead author Dr. Daichi Shimbo notes that over time, A short fuse functions as a “chronic insult to your arteries” and can lead to heart attack and stroke.

Yeah.

As anger can seriously affect your mental health and physical well-being, experts have provided the following recommendations for reigning in rage.

Take care of yourself

The first step to combating anger (no pun intended) is to take steps to prevent it. “If you’re already tense, angry, hungry, all of those things influence how angry you get when you feel some sort of stimulus or provocation,” Martin says.

So do it right by sticking to your schedule and stocking up on snacks.

Limit what provokes you

Although it seems simple, Martin recommends people identify what triggers them and take steps to limit the time they spend on this activity. Does driving make you hot? Consider alternative transportation. Does watching sports bring out your hostility? Log in and turn it off.

If your trigger is something less avoidable, like work, for example, The Post has a list of tips for staying calm when your career pushes you to your limits.

Less judgment, more compassion

As Yahoo Life reports, “People with anger management issues are provoked by others because they feel like they know what’s best and think it’s their job to give a lesson to people. » This paternalistic position harms relationships and fuels the fire of anger.

New York psychologist Greg Kushnick encourages his clients to put themselves in the shoes of the person who makes them angry. He tells Yahoo Life: “Know when you’re triggered and then be able to say, ‘Who am I to judge?’ You want to defuse your own judgment with innocuous situations (because it) can translate into higher stakes situations with a child, a parent, a partner (or) a colleague.

Calm down

Deep breathing exercises and visualization techniques can help diffuse anger. If breathing, leaning back, and imagining yourself in a serene forest doesn’t make you feel calm, Kushnick argues, walking away may be your best bet, “removing yourself from a contentious situation is likely to change your emotions. “

Let anger be your friend

Anger can be a force for motivation and change, as some have said: “Your anger loves you and wants you to be happy.” »

Martin agrees: “It’s often a normal, healthy response to injustice or goal blocking…so the goal isn’t always to reduce anger, it’s about experiencing it in a positive way.” a healthy way and channel it into healthy and productive ways of managing it. .”

He recommends using anger as a tool to inspire positive actions like self-advocacy or letters to your local legislators.

Although expressing yourself has proven counterproductive in treatment, The Post reports that writing down your angry feelings on a piece of paper can do wonders for overcoming negative emotions.

Ask for help if you need it

If your anger is ruling your life and robbing you of its richness, seek help. How do you know when it’s time? Martin advises: “If you regularly find yourself involved in physical or verbal fights or regularly deal with your anger in unhealthy ways, it may be time to seek professional help. I think this is especially true if you’ve taken steps to fix it on your own and haven’t been successful.