When you are overwhelmed by stress, you may want to curl up in a ball and not know how to withdraw from funk. To watch hours and hours of television to pretension that stress is not there, there are common “soothing” behaviors that we do to relax that can cause more harm than good.
“I do things that aggravate my stress,” said Niro Feliciano, psychotherapist and author, to HuffPost. “And I know I do them, but it’s natural as human beings.”
Even therapists can fall into these stress traps, she said. But if we work on how we manage stress, even 50% of the time, this can help considerably.
We questioned the therapists about the only thing they are trying to avoid to relieve stress, because it can actually worsen tension – and what they are trying to do instead.
“The only thing I do with my best not to do when I’m stressed is to get stuck in binging models anything – Netflix, retail therapy, junk food, etc.”, “,” SADAF SIDDIQIsaid a psychotherapist and content creator, told HuffPost. “As human beings, we all need occasional moments of escape and indulgence, but it is not the same as to create adaptation mechanisms.”
These types of behavior are often a form of avoidance of emotions, which can cause even more stress.
“Research shows that removal … difficult thoughts for long periods can lead to poor mental health as well as physical health,” said Siddiqi. “Strong emotions must be felt, treated and managed.”
Instead of binging something, Siddiqi tries to focus on techniques that immediately relieve stress, like walking, dance to a reading list or talk to a friend. Another option is to use breathing exercises, such as breathing through the nose, maintaining it, exhaling it through the nose and repetition until you feel a change. Even taking a quick shower can help; Hot water can relax your muscles and reduce tensions, while cold water can improve your circulation and reduce cortisol levels.
For long -term stress management, Siddiqi has recommended creating a routine that includes movement, healthy sleep, meditation, whole foods, hydration and therapy.
“When I have catastrophic thoughts that something will be really bad … I do not avoid these thoughts,” said Calvin FitchAn approved clinical psychologist.
He said it can lead to the “pink elephant problem”, in which a thought becomes more intense because you try to avoid it. (For example, if you are asked not to think of pink elephants for 30 seconds, it is difficult to avoid.)
Alternatively, Fitch likes to imagine his thoughts as “boxes on a treadmill” that he can choose to open or not.
“When a catastrophic thought has no evidence to support it and / or that there is nothing that I can do (on this subject) at the moment, I let this box pass because I can open it And screech the content is not useful and really prevent other thoughts or passage boxes, “he said.
Learn not to get around your thoughts too much, not only relieves stress, but can also help with mental health problems such as obsessive-compulsive disorder and panic disorder, according to Fitch.
“Sometimes when we face a challenge, our trend is to want … consult (with others) people on this (and) get all kinds of opinions and comments,” said Tamika Lewis, clinical director and founder of Women of Color Therapy. “And sometimes it can really complicate things.”
Getting many different tips from others can distract from what you really feel. Instead, Lewis tries to sit in silence with the sensation and listen to what happens in his body.
“I try … to trust this bodily wisdom, which is generally a better guide than the contribution of others,” she said. “It takes a lot of discipline to be motionless, but there is a lot of wisdom in immobility and silence.”
She said that it can also be useful to let out stressful energy by moving the body, whether through the work of breathing, stretching or walking. “Usually this will lead you to more clarity than simply stagnating,” she said.
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“For me, (white noise) increases my anxiety,” said Priya Tahiman authorized professional advisor and founder of Kaur Counselling. “I find that sounds leave my thoughts in a spiral, almost as my thoughts are on a caffeine kick.”
Although white noise can help some people relax when used with meditation, others can find its acute frequencies too stimulating, according to Tahim.
She prefers to listen to her “calm” reading list, which includes “songs with a soft or romantic atmosphere” and allows her brain to relax. Listening to music with slow and soothing tempos can help to relax physically and calm the mind, she explained.
“When I’m stressed, I’m trying (I’m trying) to never take additional things,” said Feliciano. “When we start to say” yes “to the things for which we do not have time or that we do not have the emotional or mental bandwidth, we … start to feel a resentment.”
This can increase stress levels and cause more anxiety, panic and depressive symptoms, she said. Instead, Feliciano focuses on setting the company’s limits and priority.
“I’m starting to say” no “to things that are not essential,” she said. “I look at things that can be postponed and delayed and make more bandwidth in my life for personal care. … If we do not intentionally take time for personal care, no one has time for this. »»
For her, personal care may include walking with a friend, spending time in nature, meditating or practicing deep breathing (even just for five or 10 minutes a day).
As for the tasks it needs, it does lists to classify them in order of priority. This helps to organize your thoughts and reduce the pressure to remember them.
“When we are stressed, we are in combat or leak mode and … our cognitive capacities become altered,” said Feliciano. “We actually use a lot of neurological energy just to remember a list. And when we write it on a piece of paper, this energy can be oriented towards the thing. »»
“Avoidation never works. This aggravates the situation, ” Jeffrey BarnettProfessor of psychology at the University of Loyola, told HuffPost.
Barnett discovered that pushing through stress as if it was not there is only worse. Alternatively, he tries to give permission to take a break to do something relaxing or rejuvenation.
He also highlighted the importance of stress prevention practices, such as exercising, maintain a healthy diet, rest adequate and not be too hard with yourself.
LEANNA STARCARDa wedding and family therapist approved at Life healthagreed that the more she ignores her stress, the more he persists in the bottom of his mind.
“Even the” smallest “(start) to feel overwhelming,” she said. “This (leads) to a cycle of continuous procrastination and amplified stress, until (I am) to my point of rupture and (need) to remedy it.”
Instead, she tries to recognize her feelings and identify if she is able to control one of her stressors (for example, making smaller steps towards a wider goal). For stress factors that are out of control, she uses adaptation skills such as deep breathing and journalization.
Siddiqi stressed that managing your stress may require certain trials and errors. It is not because a technique is effective for someone other than it will work for you. The best thing you can do is try new practices until you identify those who are most soothing for you.
“More importantly, don’t be afraid to ask for help,” said Siddiqi. “As human beings, we are not supposed to heal alone.”
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