It’s officially awards season and you know what that means: my roundup of the best and worst ensembles from the red carpet is here. I watched (and judged) so you don’t have to.
There were several dozen beautiful looks on the red carpet last night and several dozen fashion faux pas but I’ve condensed them to the top of the top and the bottom of the bottom.
1. Best: Zendaya in Louis Vuitton
This that’s how we make the past. Zendaya in custom Louis Vuitton was the belle of the ball at this year’s Golden Globes. This ginger Marilyn Monroe number takes us back to the white satin dress by the great William Travilla that Monroe wore at the Call me Madam first in 1953.
Travilla’s dress was a close replica of the famous fuschia dress he designed for Monroe for her performance of “Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend” in 1953. Men prefer blondes.
Here, Zendaya takes all the best elements of costume design from the past and brings us into the future with an unusual shade of orange and auburn hair. Of course, the Bulgari necklace and ring set isn’t a bad idea.
2. Worst: Ariana Grande as Hubert de Givenchy
This is how we should not do the past.
I can appreciate Ariana Grande’s affinity for Audrey Hepburn and her close friendship with Hubert de Givenchy who helped build one of the most revolutionary Parisian fashion houses that still exists today. This Givenchy Haute Couture dress from 1966 is a fashion classic fit for the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Art.
And yet, it doesn’t work at all on Grande.
In this case, it’s not the dress, it’s the person wearing it. Like the Wicked press tour, there’s something off about Grande’s look. The hair is faded, the eyebrows almost non-existent, the makeup doesn’t help and the bust of the dress is too large for her tiny body.
With a few major tweaks, this could have been one of the best looks of the night. As it stands, not even a Swarovski crystal choker can save that.
3. Best: Nicole Kidman in Balenciaga Haute Couture
Nicole Kidman is a contemporary Aphrodite in this incredibly draped and shimmering Balenciaga Haute Couture dress fit for a goddess.
For a red carpet, I’m not sure it’s really better. It’s bold in every sense of the word. The kid is out. Babygirl is here.
4. Worst: Naomi Watts in Schiaparelli
Naomi Watts in this Schiaparelli dress is one of those looks where the lower your gaze drops, the more you start to question the stylist’s judgment.
I have no doubt that Schiaparelli will post a 15-minute documentary-style clip on Instagram about how this dress was designed, sewn, and made. The problem ? When all that designer work results in a dress that looks like it has giant coffee filters stapled to the hem, no amount of craftsmanship can save it.
5. Best: Emma Stone in Louis Vuitton
A friend texted me when he saw Emma Stone on the red carpet in this custom Louis Vuitton dress and joked, “(you) must be salty…” I won’t lie, I am. It kills me to put Hollywood’s most overrated millennial actress on my best-dressed list, but credit comes down to Caesar.
I recently researched how red tones are the most attractive color palette on the color wheel. Unfortunately, the light brutalism that has dominated everyday aesthetics in America for too long has erased the reds.
In this way, Stone’s dress — which could be ripped from Jackie Kennedy’s state dinner wardrobe — is a return to warmth so welcoming, like a box of Queen Anne cordial cherries.
6. Worst: Melissa McCarthy in Christian Siriano
What is going on here, this drag brunch?
7. Best: Andrew Garfield in Gucci
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Andrew Garfield in this custom Gucci suit was the best dressed man of the evening. The wide, pointed lapels of this double-breasted jacket made up for the lack of a tie or cummerbund. It was all the drama needed for a night like the Globes.
Plus, like Emma Stone in her cherry red, Garfield’s shirt, suit, and lenses on his sunglasses brought a much-needed shade of rich forest green to the carpet. The return of greens is another indication that our culture is too consumed by grays, whites and cool neutrals.
8. Worst: Jodie Foster in Dior
When I see a dress like this Dior number Jodie Foster wore, I think, “What’s the point?” For something so bland and lifeless, why not opt for a tailored suit? Trousers with a silk blouse?
This is a real missed opportunity for Foster. We need more from our leading ladies.
9. Best: Margaret Qualley in Chanel
It’s no surprise that Margaret Qualley donned Chanel for the evening; after all, she’s literally getting paid to wear the best of the best unique pieces from the pinnacle of Parisian fashion.
This dress, in particular, resonates because it could easily be a costume in the new Gladiator film but teeters just on the edge. It’s regal, simple and timeless. Isn’t that what we all want to see on red carpets?
10. Worst: Cate Blanchett in Louis Vuitton
I might be wrong, but I think this is the first time in the 8 years I’ve been writing this column that Cate Blanchett has made my worst-dressed list. Let me explain.
Blanchett, like Tilda Swinton, tends to take a look. She likes dresses with severe shoulders, thinks Haider Ackermann, and voluminous bodices with draped skirts.
This Louis Vuitton dress reflects everything we know about Blanchett’s taste in designer clothes. But somehow I find Also Cate Blanchett. I felt even more validated in this opinion when I found out it was a dress she wore last year at the Cannes Film Festival.
Changing things, surprising us, wouldn’t be a bad decision.
11. Best: Anya Taylor-Joy in Dior by John Galliano
Anya Taylor-Joy in this archived Christian Dior dress from the height of John Galliano’s reign at home is a treat for fashion watchers. You could imagine Shalom Harlow continuing spectacularly down the runway in this dress.
Taylor-Joy’s Tiffany Blue Book necklace, which contains more than 64 carats of crystal opals, likely made it impossible for her to move around without security guards surrounding her — protecting those crown jewels.
This look is almost completely perfect. My slight problem is over-posing. The garment speaks for itself, as does the necklace. Posing like you’re turning the plate of a microwave on full rotation is… well, theater kid.
John Binder is a reporter for Breitbart News. Email him at jbinder@breitbart.com. Follow him on Twitter here.
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